


Move Me

by keyandtonyoutsold



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ballet, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Attempt at Humor, Developing Friendships, Fluff, It's less about ballet and more about Ten being a ballet dancer, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Language, ballet dancer ten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 19:54:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17209892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keyandtonyoutsold/pseuds/keyandtonyoutsold
Summary: Ten was sent to a small town for a sabbatical. There he'd meet and befriend TY, who would turn out to be a lot more than what met the eye.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW//  
> unexplicit description of murder and suicide of minor background original characters, nothing related to the main characters

 

Ten was going to fucking murder Johnny.

“Johnny, what the fuck, man? What the actual fuck?!” Yelling at Johnny on the phone while trying to pull two large suitcases behind him and balance an extra large sports bag on top at the same time was a feat, but Ten was filled with so much rage he somehow found it in himself to do all of that at once.

When Johnny had told him he was sending him to the country side, Ten had imagined a big estate, some sort of mountain resort, a getaway for the rich and famous, not a ghost town straight out of an 90’s horse movie.

“Are you at the right address?” Johnny asked from the other line, completely ignoring Ten’s valid question of what the fuck.

“Yeah but-“

“Okay bye.” Ten sent a silent curse at Johnny before taking a deep breath and pushing the small gate separating him from his new home for the next few months.

The house in front of him stood on a small hill, tiny and plain. There wasn’t another house in immediate sight, just acres and acres of farm land. There was a minivan parked in the driveway and a rusty garden table on the front yard, along with two equally rusty chairs perched on top of it. Before Ten made it to the front door, it opened and a woman stepped out with a loud greeting.

“Johnny! it’s Julie! Nice to meet you, finally!”

“Uh, not Johnny, that’s my friend. He just took care of the rent and the calls and everything.” Ten explained, letting the woman take one of his suitcases and pull it inside.

“Oh, Johnny didn’t mention the house wasn’t for him, but that’s okay. Welcome anyway, dear.”

The interior of the house was as plain as its exterior. You could see the entire layout of the ground floor from the entrance; the living room took up most of the space, while the kitchen occupied a small corner on the left. It all looked surprisingly well equipped and new. But everything was in some god awful shade of beige, Ten wanted to gag.

“So this is the bathroom, down there is the basement, and the stairs lead up to the master bedroom and another bathroom.” Julie was saying as she moved around, pointing at this direction and that.

“Sorry, there is no couch, I mentioned to Johnny on the phone that the previous owners died in a tragic accident here in the house.”

“What does the couch have to do with it?”

“Oh well you see,” Julie grimaced, “the previous owner…she, well, she shot her husband while he was sleeping in bed then came down here and shot herself on the couch.” Ten frowned, taking in everything that Julie had just recounted.

“It’s a shame. They had just renovated the house before _that_ happened.”

“So I assume there is no bed either.”

“What?” She looked surprised, as if she had expected Ten to react differently. Even if Ten weren’t so bad with words, what would one say in these situations.

“You said the murders happened on the couch and bed.”

“Oh yeah, and uh… it took everything I have to get this property, so if you buy anything for the house I’ll reimburse you for it later.”

“Sure.”

“Great! I had an air mattress put up for you in the bedroom, and there is a mac and cheese casserole in the fridge and some pie too!” The way she spoke made Ten’s head spin; she reminded him of his mother. She was genuinely cheerful, too cheerful for Ten who got used to the dry attitude of city people and the cold world of professional ballet.

“Thanks.” He wished she could just leave already, he was tired.

“Could I ask you what is it that you do exactly?”

“I’m a dancer.”

“A professional dancer?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, wonderful, maybe you can come by the school sometimes, perform for the kids, I teach there and it would be great to show them an example of someone with a career in the arts.” Ten almost scoffed. He wanted to say something mean, but he thought about the food she'd said she’d left him in the fridge and restrained himself. She didn’t deserve his biting words.

“You know, Julie, it’s been a long day for me…” He said instead, plastering a fake apologetic smile on his face.

“Oh, of course, sorry!” She walked out of the house and stood on the porch, rummaging through her bag before handing him a slip of paper, “here is my number, if you ever have any questions or if you need anything.”

“Thank you, goodbye.”

“Welcome to town, see you!” Ten closed the door and leaned his back against it. He took another deep breath and went upstairs.

**

Taking a shower after the flight and that awful bus trip felt like heaven. Ten went around the house exploring and examining it more carefully, there was a lot of dust; it needed a good deep cleaning.

He ate the food Julie had left. He wasn’t sure if it was that good or if he was just too hungry to tell. It was almost midnight by the time he retreated to the bedroom. He gingerly lay down on the air mattress, hearing it squeak under his weight, before calling Johnny.

“If I end up getting murdered, it’s gonna be your fault and I hope you can live with that.” Ten said as way of greeting. He heard Johnny laughing on the other line.

“You know what the crime of rate of that town is? A big fat zero, you’ll be safe.”

“The owner of the house shot her husband and then blew her brains out in the house, John, you sent me to a fucking murder house!”

“You never said you were superstitious!” Johnny was laughing again, the asshole.

Ten let out a heavy sigh as he tried to get into a more comfortable position. The goddamn mattress kept squeaking.

“Ten, this is just temporary.” Ten knew that, he’d already had this conversation with Johnny before leaving. “I didn’t want you locked in your apartment for four months, so take a breather, relax, reconnect with nature or some shit. I don’t know, just relax, okay?”

“You could have let me go back home to reconnect with nature you dumbshit.” Ten missed home, he missed his parents’ house and his mom’s cooking. He hadn’t gone home in two years.

“To Thailand? The fuck you think this is, eat pray love? Plus you need to stay in the states so I can keep my eyes on you.”

“Oh you have eyes on me all the way in middle-of-fucking-nowhere-ville, Alaska?”

“It’s Warrenville and it’s in Maine, Ten, how are you supposed to do well on your citizenship exam if you don’t know these things!” Johnny feigned a sigh. He was trying to lift the mood, joke around, make the situation less dawning than it really was.

“I don’t know if it’s worth it anymore, Johnny. Maybe I should really just go back home.”

“Come on, you want this, Ten.” Johnny started and this time his voice took a more serious note, “You came to the states because there are more opportunities here, you said so yourself. This is just a small set back, okay? Well get through this, I promise.”

Ten closed his eyes and tried not to think about how he had so stupidly compromised his career.

“I don’t have a bed or a couch, I’m sleeping on an air mattress.” He said after a long pause, prompting Johnny into a fit of laughter.

“What!”

“Because of the killings.” He said with a snort of his own. The entire situation was so absurd.

“Go shop for a mattress tomorrow, I don’t want you breaking your back.”

“I will.” Ten hummed. He could hear Johnny stifling a yawn on the other side. “Goodnight, Johnny. Thank you for sticking with me, I appreciate it.”

“Always. Goodnight, buddy.”

**

Ten woke up with his back flat on the floor. The air mattress had deflated at some point during the night, so Ten started his first morning in town with a bad temper and aching bones. He needed to buy a mattress, and eat, and buy coffee beans.

Getting downtown didn’t even take a full twenty minutes on foot. Ten finally let the culture shock set in as he sat in a small family diner to have his breakfast. He had never lived anywhere this small. Everyone seemed to know each other already; everyone was saying hi to everyone, Ten felt so out of place. He was aware of everyone’s eyes on him, so when the waitress came around to refill his coffee, he offered her a smile and told her that he was the new resident in Julie’s house on the hill. The air seemed to clear after the waitress went back to the counter and shared the information with few other people, some of whom turned and sent little welcoming smiles and waves in Ten’s way.

The furniture store was an _experience_. Ten was the only customer there that morning and the owner made sure to show him every single mattress he had and when Ten let it slip that he didn’t have a couch either, but he didn’t necessarily need one, the owner made it his mission to change Ten’s mind. And he did. By the time it was noon, Ten was the proud owner of a new Sealy Posturepedic Hybrid Cobalt Firm mattress, a couch, a lamp and a two full body length mirrors.

“Our truck is out of order for the time being.” Jose, the owner, said with a small grimace, “so I’ll call Sally’s place to send some of her guys to deliver your things.” He added as he handed Ten back his credit card. “Speaking of which, you mentioned you needed a cleaning service earlier, Sally’s do those as well, talk to her about it.” Ten pocketed his wallet and nodded.

He had spent the entire morning with the guy. On top of being an excellent salesman, Jose was also a really attentive listener and got more information out of Ten than the latter would usually offer. He seemed to have answers and solutions for all of Ten’s problems. He had told Ten about all the good places to eat and what to order at each place, told him about the people to approach and the people to avoid, he had even advised Ten to have a conversation with Tim, the owner of the only gym in town, about renting the place few hours a week. Ten could not remember how he’d even ended up telling him about needing a dance studio where he could practice.

“You have my phone number. If you need anything let me know, Ten.” Jose said with a smile that Ten couldn’t help but mirror.

God, everyone was so nice, Ten hated it.

By the time Ten was walking back home it was already dark. He had a big bag filled with groceries in each hand. He felt exhausted to the bone. After having lunch at one of the places Jose had recommended, he had managed to make a deal with Tim to get the gym for himself every night after 7 PM. He’d also bought few books to practice his French; He had always wanted to learn actual French outside of the ballet jargon, but never found the time. Now all he had was time.

There was a truck parked in his driveway and two people on his porch, a man and woman. The woman regarded him with the same calculating look he had got from everyone in town. The man was leaning on the wall behind her; Ten couldn’t see much of him.

“Hi, are you Sally?” He put his bags down and unlocked the door.

“God, no!” The woman said with a boisterous laugh, she was big and buff and had a voice to match. “I’m Sally’s wife, Alex.” She said, extending a hand towards Ten to shake.

“Oh, nice meeting you, I’m Ten.” Alex gave him a warm smile then helped him with his grocery bags before going out to start taking the furniture out with the help of the man she was with.

They finished putting everything in place and while Alex showed Ten the same warmth and interest the other people in town had, the man kept quiet. He had a short beard and long hair that almost came to his shoulders and strategically covered the sides of his face, but when he moved, Ten could see the scars that ran from his temple down to his neck.

“Jose said you guys offer cleaning services?” Ten asked once he handed Alex her payment. They were on the porch again, the cold air biting through Ten’s sweater.

“Cleaning, electricity, plumbing, garden maintenance, deliveries, we do it all.”

“Great, I need someone to come tomorrow, then to come twice every week starting next Monday.”

“What days?” Alex counted the money before splitting it and handing the man half of it.

“Mondays and Thursdays maybe.”

“Sure, does that work for you, bud?” Alex asked her colleague, who gave a curt nod in answer.

“Great, you two talk business, I’m gonna go start the truck.” Ten stared at her as she walked towards the driveway. He turned to find the man looking at him. His gaze didn’t waver when Ten caught him though.

“Is that pronounced Tee-Why or Tie?” Ten asked, pointing at the name tag on the guy’s jacket.

“It’s pronounced however you want it to be, sir.” He said with a smile. His voice was deep, but with a boyish edge to it. Ten did not expect that.

“Tee-Why then, Tie on days where I’m feeling lazy.” Ten joked, earning another smile. Something about that smile and that face felt familiar.

Their conversation was cut short because Alex had started honking for TY to hurry up. They quickly agreed on the job requirements and decided to discuss the pay later.

“See you tomorrow!” Ten said with a small wave of his hand.

“See you!”

Ten watched as the truck drove off and stood there, engulfed in the eerie silence. He missed home already, the noise and the chaos. He’d always been a big city boy, from Bangkok to Seoul to London to New York. The quietness of a small town was jarring. He couldn’t wait for the four months to end so he could finally get the fuck out of there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first chaptered story since forever, I started it over a month ago, I've written it all and I'm excited to finally share it. I had tbhnour as a pilot reader and she had me by the throat about not posting till I'm done.


	2. Chapter 2

 

Ten woke up to the doorbell ringing.

Groaning, he rolled off the couch and onto his knees on the floor. His neck was killing him. Making the decision to just sleep on the couch had seemed wise; the couch had felt too comfortable when he’d been getting drowsy last night and he couldn’t bother going up the stairs to the bedroom, but now he regretted it.

The doorbell rang again, prompting Ten to finally stand up.

Who even came to people’s houses at this ungodly hour.

“One fucking minute!” He yelled and groaned again when a jolt of pain shot through his temple; he might have drunk a glass of wine or five while he was binge watching Daredevil. He felt like shit.

He went to the kitchen sink and quickly splashed some water on his face to help him wake up. It didn’t.

He opened the door, ready to give whoever on the other side a couple choice words.

“Hi!” TY greeted with a small hand raise. He was dressed in an awful ensemble of gray jeans and denim jacket, both of which were at least two sizes bigger than his. He had a baseball cap on his head and bucket full of cleaning supplies in his hand. Right, the cleaning.

Ten tried to say hi back but all that came out was a garbled sound that made TY snort in amusement before following Ten inside.

“So, what do you want me to do first?”

“To shut up.”

“Excuse me?”

“Sit. Breakfast.” TY slowly removed his cap and took a seat on the dining table while Ten went through his grocery bags from last night to pick the coffee beans and a box of store bought donuts that he slid across the table towards TY.

It took Ten few tries to figure out how the coffee machine worked, but once it started whirring, he took a deep breath of rich coffee scented air and then exhaled.

“You’re early.” Ten said after sitting down and passing TY one of the mugs. They had Hers and His inscribed on them in bold red letters. 

“You said to come at nine, it’s nine.”

“Didn’t peg you for the punctual type.”

“You’re a real delight in the mornings, aren’t you?” That made Ten put his mug down and give TY an assessing look. There was no real bite to his words, just playful teasing. He had a small smile on his face to indicate as much.

“Sorry, I’m not a morning person, at all.”

“It’s okay, looks like you had a long night.” TY said with a small nod towards the living room, where a blanket was thrown on the floor and the coffee table was littered with snacks wrappers and bags of chips, along with a stained wine glass next to a big bottle of cheap wine that was already two thirds empty.

“I was watching Daredevil.” Ten offered as an explanation.

Ten had called his mother and sister last night to update them on his situation. He’d told his mom he was taking a break from work, not that he was forced into taking one. He had wanted to call Johnny again and just spend the night chattering his ear off about the town and its people, but Johnny was busy and he had a family of his own to pay attention to. The self pity party had only started when the realization that he was alone had finally set in. He had many friends and acquaintances, people to party with, people to shop with, have brunches and fancy dinners with, but very few people whom he could just talk to.

He wondered idly as he sat there, drinking his coffee with a relative stranger across from him, if this was why Johnny had sent him here: to find people to talk to.

“So,” Ten started after they were done with their pseudo-breakfast, “kitchen and living room first, then bedroom, so I can finally unpack. Then the bathrooms, then the basement, I don’t even know what the fuck is in there, so I’m sending you down as sacrifice.” The last part got a soft laughter out of TY and Ten smiled.

TY had tucked his hair behind his ears at some point during breakfast, so Ten could clearly see the scars on the left side of his face and neck. They weren’t particularly gruesome, probably old, treated by a good doctor and healed properly too. But they were still there.

TY cleared his throat and Ten looked away. Shit, he’d been staring, but not only because of the scars, it was also because he still had this nagging feeling in the back of his head about who TY looked like.

“Uhm, so I’m gonna go take a shower, you can start around here.” Ten mumbled before leaving the kitchen to go upstairs.

**

By noon, TY had already finished cleaning the first floor and moved upstairs to help Ten clean the bedroom. His work was incredible, he paid attention to the smallest nooks and corners, he also moved so silently that Ten had to call for him every now and then to make sure he was still in the house with him.

“Lunch time!” Ten announced as he skipped to answer the door. There were only two places in town that delivered. Jose told him that their food sucked, but Ten did not care; he didn’t even know how to fry an egg and he wasn’t planning to start learning.

By the look TY gave the label on the bags containing their meal, he seemed to share the same opinion as Jose.

“Jackie’s meat grill? Really?”

“Shut up, they’re the only ones who do deliveries at this hour. Can’t believe you don’t even have a McDonalds in this town.” Ten took the first bite of the ribs and grimaced. They were so bland, but not completely terrible. He had never been a picky eater anyway.

“You can just drive to town and get the food yourself.” 

“I don’t have a car.”

“Rent one.”

“I can’t drive, I don’t have a license.”

“Why didn’t you get one?” TY asked as he carefully bit into the meat. He somehow managed to make eating ribs neat; Ten wanted to throw something at him.

“I tried taking my driver’s test,” Ten started, he wiped the grease off his hands and balled the tissue before looking at TY who already had a small smile plastered on his face, “and I failed, few times” and TY was already laughing.

“ _Few_ times!” Ten would have been a little offended if he didn’t find himself reveling in the sound of that laugh.

“Shut up!”

**

“Earlier, I wasn’t staring at your scars, well I was but,” they were in the basement, TY had gone first and assured Ten that there were no monsters or killer clowns down there. “I was looking at you because you remind me of someone.” TY stopped sorting through the boxes they had found there to look at Ten.

“Who?”

“I still can’t put my finger on it.”

They were silent for few minutes after that as Ten rummaged through a box filled with Christmas decorations.

“You can ask how it happened.” TY said from the corner, where he was trying to get rid of all the spider webs.

“How did it happen?” Ten simply asked, never one to pass on an opening that’d been offered to him.

“Car accident, I got thrown out of the car from the impact and skidded on the asphalt, my left side took the hit, lot of glass got into my neck and face.”

“Must have been painful.”

“It was, but I at least survived,” TY sounded so detached, as if he weren’t talking about something he himself had gone through.

“I’m sorry.” Ten felt genuinely bad for bringing up the subject, for making TY feel like he had to tell him about it.

“It’s okay, I’m okay now.”

Ten never knew what to say or do in these situations, partially because he had never paused to even consider hearing from or caring about someone’s past or traumatic experiences before. He didn’t lack empathy, but he was never put in the position where he had to comfort someone. He was tempted to say sorry again, but he decided that staying quiet would be better.

The silence stretched for a while before it became too stifling that Ten felt the need to fill it.

“What do people do around here for fun?” He asked tentatively.

“There is a book store downtown, a gym. There are some stuff the school does… theatre, football games- the team sucks though, people mostly go for the cheerleaders.”

“Huh, what about the nightlife?”

“Nightlife?” TY parroted with a snort, “well there is a bar, they have a karaoke night every Friday.”

“Oh my god.” Ten whispered in horror, this was really a ghost town.

“The next town over has few clubs, they also have a movie theatre and a mall, but it’s a few hours drive from here, so..” Ten knew that was a jab at his inability to drive there because TY was chuckling.

“I’m cutting from your pay for being cheeky!”

**

Ten had been in town for five days. He had settled in a comfortable, if somewhat boring routine. He’d wake up late, have his coffee and laze around the house, and go have his first meal at one of the diners in town; he’d call it brunch, if it were acceptable to have brunch at two in the afternoon. If neither his mom nor his sister were free for a phone call, he’d stop at Jose’s for a chat, and then he would go back home, change into workout clothes and go for an evening run before heading to the gym for his nightly practice sessions. By the time he’d get back home, he’d find his delivery from Jackie’s meat grill waiting on the porch. He’d shower, eat dinner, binge watch Netflix until he got drowsy and had to sleep.

He was so fucking bored. The slow pace of life in town was driving him up the wall, but he was keeping his head down, relaxing, connecting with fucking nature like Johnny had suggested.

It was Monday though, TY was coming. Ten made sure to set an alarm to remind him. He had only spent one day with the guy and he already liked him. It was probably because TY was the only other person Ten had met in town who was around the same age as him. Ten had wanted to text him over the last few days but didn’t know if that would be appropriate, yet.

“I hope you know how to do laundry.” He said as greeting when he opened the door for TY.

“Good morning to you too, and yeah, of course.” TY had an ugly brick red jacket with a brown sweater peeking from under it this time around, along with a pair of jeans that used to be dark, two decades ago.

Ten was a little embarrassed as he showed TY his laundry hamper and told him about how he was running out of clothes to wear because he had never in his life learned how to work a washing machine. Consulting the internet had been a disaster because he had ended up on a forum reading about how a washing machine almost burned some guy’s house down.

“You've been eating takeout the entire week?” TY asked when he saw all the empty boxes in Ten’s trash. He sounded in genuine distress. He had put his hair up in a bun when he was teaching Ten how to do his laundry and had left it that way. He had a smallish face, but a sharp jaw that even his shabby short beard couldn’t hide.

“I can’t cook.” Ten replied. He had just put another load of clothes in the washing machine. Who knew washing clothes was so exhausting.

“Oh my god, Ten, what is it that you _can_ do?”

“Dance, speak three languages,” he listed on his fingers, “and be cute.” He finished with a grin, sending TY into a fit of laughter.

“Unbelievable. When was the last time you had a homemade meal?”

“A long time ago, unless you count the mac and cheese casserole Julie left for me in the fridge on my first day.” TY made a face at that.

“I can maybe cook something for you next time I come.”

“Man of many talents, you clean, you drive, you do laundry and you’re a chef too.”

“Every adult on the planet has those skills. It’s just you who doesn’t.” TY had stopped scrubbing the kitchen counter to point at Ten. The sleeves of his sweater were rolled up to his elbows; the sweater itself was too big on him it was barely hanging on his shoulders. If it weren’t for his awful jeans and general disregard to his appearance, Ten would have almost said TY looked nice. Almost.

“Not every adult has those skills, I personally know at least two people who can’t drive or cook.”

“Names?”

“Uh..Rachel and..Monica.”

“Get out of here!” Laughter filled the air as TY shoved the trash bags at Ten.

“It’s my house!” 

**

“From what the townspeople are saying I thought you’d be a lot meaner.” They were having lunch, Jackie’s meat grill again. Ten had been eating enough of their food that it did not necessarily taste so bland anymore, and he was on first names basis with the delivery guy, so he got extra sauce.

“I can be a lot meaner,” Ten said with an exaggerated grin. TY threw a paper tissue at him. “And what townspeople?” Ten tried wracking his brain for any instance where he’d been rude to anyone in town; he came up with a few. “Let me guess, the guy from the supermarket downtown? ‘Cause he has a lot of opinions on who should and who shouldn’t do ballet.” Ten had heard all what people had to say about male ballet dancers, he’d had enough.

“He was probably just surprised. Maybe he thought you didn’t look like a ballet dancer.”

“Why, what kind of dancer do I look like?” Ten silently prayed TY wasn’t going to say some prejudiced shit because he really liked talking to him.

“I don’t like to assume,” TY started and Ten held his breath, “you could be someone who does, what kids call it these days, popping and locking?” He even stood up and did a bad imitation of a robot dance.

“Oh my god.”

It was so comfortable, laughing and bickering with someone like that. He felt at ease; TY and a lot of other people in town just had this positive welcoming energy that got him to relax. Maybe Johnny was right about the place after all.

“You have a car, right?” They were on the couch, sorting through the mountain of laundry they had done earlier. “Let’s go out this weekend, I can pay you by the hour for driving me, or…” Ten bit his lip before continuing, “we can just go out together to hang out?”

TY spared him a glance and stayed quiet.

“Come on! I’m gonna die of boredom and I don’t want to go out alone like a loser.” TY had his brows furrowed as he folded another shirt. Ten didn’t want to push it; he was almost going to tell TY to forget about it when he finally spoke.

“Where would we go?” If Ten did a little dance on the couch, it was no one’s business. He always loved getting what he wanted.

“That town you told me about last time, you said they have few clubs.” He had _plans,_ nothing over the top, just a nice chill night of club hopping with TY, dancing, maybe hooking up with a stranger and then going back home at dawn completely plastered.

“I’m not into the whole clubbing thing, Ten.”

Well.

“It’s okay,” Ten could compromise; as long as they did something fun. “We can go shopping and watch a movie then, anything, please.” Ten did not want to spend another weekend at home.

“Okay.” TY gave a little smile. Ten beamed; a beautiful friendship was going to bloom between them, he was sure of it.

**

The night air was fucking _cold_. While the days were sunny and pleasant, as expected of spring weather, the temperature at night dropped drastically. Ten should have stayed in, but there he was on his porch freezing his ass off because he wanted to see TY off. Also, they were talking about the food TY was going to cook for him, which was important.

“How does Korean sound like?” TY asked as he pocketed the money Ten had handed him. He looked too small in his jacket.

“Oh god, I miss Korean food and Korea.”

“Wait, you’re Korean too?”

“No, but I lived there for a year.” It had been a long time since he’d told anyone about this, “I had a scholarship at this performing arts school in Seoul when I was twelve. I was planning on becoming an idol and all that.”  

“No way!” TY was laughing, he had his car keys in his hands, but he didn’t make a move to leave just yet.  “What happened?”

“The ballet instructor there was so impressed by me, so the school sent me to England for summer classes at the Royal Ballet School and I loved it there so much I ended up enrolling full time the next semester.” Ten let out a breath and watched it materialize then disappear in the night air. “That summer I just _knew_ I wanted to become a ballet dancer.” 

There was a moment of silence that stretched between them, not enough to become uncomfortable though.

“Would you do it differently now that you’ve grown up?” TY was looking at the moon, he sounded distant, his words muted in a sense. As if he wasn’t asking the question looking for an answer.

“No. It’s not easy.” Ten knew how not easy it was, he didn’t think idol life would have been any easier either, nothing was. “But I love what I do, wouldn’t change it for the world.”

“Good.”

He had expected TY to ask questions, especially about why was Ten in town if he loved what he did that much. Ten had been telling town folks who had asked that he was taking a break, finding inspiration, but he would tell TY the truth, probably.

“And you?” Ten asked with a light shiver; the temperature seemed to drop lower and lower by the minute.

“What about me?” TY still sounded distance, Ten hated it; It was similar to when TY had spoken about his accident earlier.

“Korea, have you lived there?”

“Oh,” that seemed to finally shake TY out of his stupor, “no, no. Son of second generation immigrants. Only visited my parents’ distant cousins few summers, but I still cook the best Bulgogi in town.”

Ten wanted to ask about TY’s parents, his family and his old life. Jose had told him that TY was a relative new comer as well; how when he had moved in two years ago, most people in town didn’t even know how he looked like until the second month of his residence.

“TY, buddy, I think you cook the _only_ Bulgogi in town.” Ten said with a light pat on TY’s shoulder and they were laughing again, the burden of secrets and pasts temporarily lifted off their shoulders.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s wednsday my dudes, for me at least, so update.  
> I'll add tags as the story progresses cz i dont want to spoil things or put a tag of smth still not in the chapters.  
> theres a lot of dialog in this chapter cz idk i like doing character exposition thru interaction rather narration, more narration will happen in later chapters anyway.  
> Thank you for the kudos and nice comments!!  
> Next update is on Sunday  
> stan WayV


	3. Chapter 3

 

Ten hated that Johnny was right. Getting away was doing him good. He had been eating better, practicing better, _feeling_ better ever since that first week in town. He was smiling more, laughing more, enjoying life a lot more.

Ten loved what he did and loved the busy life at the city, the intense training, the few weeks before a play, the deadlines, and the group dynamics among the dancers. He missed all of that too, but he wouldn’t lie and say he wasn’t savoring every minute of his long break either.

Big part of why he was feeling so goddamn content was TY. Ten had got the chance to get to know Jose –he loved Jose **.** He’d also met Julie couple of times; she’d bring him pies and casseroles and check on him, a lot more frequently ever since he’d gone to give her class a little presentation on performing arts. But TY was still his favorite.

Ten had never met someone like TY and Ten had met a lot of interesting characters in his life. Everything about TY’s appearance made him seem cold and distant and –Ten wished he had a nicer way of saying it, just _boring._ But TY was everything but those things. He was warm and friendly and had the weirdest sense of humor that once had resulted in Ten lying on the floor of his living room in tears, clutching his stomach from laughing so hard. 

They had been hanging out a lot lately. TY still came every Monday and Thursday to clean the house, but now they got to see each other almost every other day of the week as well.

After that first successful outing to the movie theatre, they’d been spending more time together; they were friends. Ten had made a new friend –although, the complete opposite of him.

While Ten was loud and loved being at the center of everyone’s attention, TY was quiet, spoke softly and rarely liked to have attention on him when they were out or around other people. Ten took pride in his appearance, he loved standing out and being unique, TY on the other hand tried his best to blend in as much as possible.

When they’d first gone out together, TY had shown up at Ten’s doorstep in his usual ensemble of ugly jeans and uglier jacket and Ten had dragged him in and made him get into one of Ten’s black jeans, paired with a nicer jacket and a pair of sneakers . TY, _the heathen,_ had kept laughing the entire time, asking what the point of dressing up  _so fancy_ was.

The more time they spent together, the more Ten discovered how different they were.

For starters, TY was good at being a functional adult. He knew how to clean, do laundry, fix cars, do plumbing; his house was spotless. He’d even told Ten that he did his taxes on his own –Ten didn’t know people could even do that; and he knew how to cook. His cooking was heavenly; he definitely cooked the best Bulgogi, and also almost every other Korean dish Ten had ever tasted. He wasn’t reluctant about trying new recipes and he loved to indulge Ten’s cravings. He’d say it was because he loved cooking and that Ten made for a good pilot tester for new recipes, but Ten would argue it was because Ten was just that charming that TY could not deny him.

They were different, but that was okay because they still got along so well and maybe that itself was a big part of why they did get along so well.

Ten found it funny that even when they took silly quizzes online to pass the time, they managed to pick opposite answers for almost every single question.

"Okay most important one!” They were supposed to go out that night, but it had started raining heavily, so they’d decided on buying wine and snacks and having a sleepover at TY’s.

"Okay." TY was _giggling_. God, they were so drunk. Cheap wine was not to be underestimated.

"No! This is serious, stop laughing!"

They were in their pajamas on TY's couch with his laptop perched between them as Ten struggled to read through the Buzzfeed quiz. TY had his hair in pigtails (courtesy of Ten’s styling) while Ten had his own bangs in a little ponytail on top of his head and a face mask on –Ten was not the one to half ass sleepover traditions, and they had just finished a very heated debate on cake vs. pie. It was hard not to laugh.

"Milk first or cereal first?" Ten held his breath. TY frowned then blinked few times. Ten had to fight the urge to reach over and pinch him or kiss him –on the cheeks only of course.  He looked adorable.

"Cereal first."

Ten sighed in relief. _Thank God,_ this friendship didn't have to be broken.

**

Ten was stretching so he could start his nightly practice session when his phone rang. It was Johnny’s ringtone. He hadn’t called him in weeks. Lately, they had only exchanged texts to keep each other updated. Johnny had told him that he was negotiating with the theatre about Ten’s contract. Ten had signed to do three different plays with them in the span of nine months, but he’d been forced to sit the first one out because of the whole debacle with the director.

The agreement was for Ten to stay out of the city while the asshole’s plays finished their four months runs. Then Ten would go back home and resume work. He just had to be patient for a little while; that was what Johnny had told him before. Things, however, seemed to have changed.

“What do you mean _corps de ballet_ , Johnny?” They weren’t even one minute into their first phone call in almost a month and Ten already felt like yelling.  

“It’s what they offered, said next year you can come back as a soloist, maybe do the nutcracker prince in two Christmases if things go smoothly.”

“Fucking unbelievable, what kind of fucking demotion is this?! And you just said yes?” His voice was teetering on hysterical because he would rather fucking retire than serve as a backup dancer.

“I said I’ll talk to you about it. I don’t know what to do, Ten, help me out here.”

“Fucking no! No!”

“If we terminate the contract from our side we get no compensation.” Johnny sounded defeated, Ten wanted to cry. “This break is already taking a toll on your finances.”

“I don’t fucking care, take me out, find me something else.”

“Ten, sleep on this at least.”

“It’s fucking humiliating, John!” Ten finally snapped, eyes brimming with tears as he screamed at the phone. Johnny was quiet on the other side, he knew Ten’s temper.  “I’m not gonna start from fucking scratch, not after everything I’ve done. Find me something else.” Fat angry tears were rolling down his cheeks, he could barely see.  

“Johnny, please.” he whispered once he felt he had enough control to speak without yelling.

“Okay. I’ll see what I can do.” Johnny said quietly; Ten could hear car horns and the general noise of New York City from the phone. It was late, but Johnny was probably only getting off work then.  

“Maybe something on the commercial side once you get back? A music video or an ad?”

Ten tried to breathe. Ads and music videos were quick and easy and brought in good money, but nothing compared to the rush of performing for an audience, of having people’s eyes on him as he leaped across the stage, of having a standing ovation at the end of the play. Nothing compared.

“Ten?”

But he needed money. He had bills to pay and while he wasn’t in immediate need, what he had in his bank account wasn’t going to last forever.

“Yeah, sure. Let me know what you find.” Ten said before hanging up and throwing his phone away with more force than intended. It lay on the gym’s polished floor face down while Ten stood there, staring at it, as if it held answers to his problems, as if Johnny was about to give him another call and tell him that all of this was one elaborate prank, that everything was okay.

The day had started out _good_. Ten had woken up to a call from his sister and he’d spent the entire morning listening to her as she told him about her summer vacation plans. He had then called TY to ask him about how could he heat up the leftover stew in his fridge (Ten did know how to heat up food) just to mess with him and maybe to hear his voice, even if TY had proceeded to hang up on him because he had work to get to and by work he’d meant a league of legends gaming session going on. Ten still couldn’t believe that was how TY liked to spend his days off.

Ten had come to practice almost skipping. But few hours later, midnight found him sitting on the steps of the front entrance to the gym, clutching his bag to his chest and waiting for TY to come pick him up because he had stupidly hurt his ankle while practicing. Although the injury wasn’t anything serious, he didn’t want to aggravate it by walking all the way home on foot.

“Hey!” Ten saw TY’s ugly boots first and smiled before looking up to meet his eyes.

“Hi.” He felt so drained his voice was barely above a whisper. It felt good to have let out all his anger and frustration in his dance practice, he had cried and screamed over the loud music in the empty gym room until he’d finally felt like he could breathe without a lump blocking his airways. It was worth it, even if he ended up injuring himself at the end.

TY helped him into the car then started driving in the direction of Ten’s house; it was a short ride, not more than five minutes and they would be there.

“You sure you don’t want to go to the clinic to check that up?” TY had already asked that question twice before, once on the phone and another time before driving off.

“Yeah, it’s not the first time this happens… I know how to handle it.” An ice pack and some of that muscle cramping ointment he had at home should do the trick.

“How did it happen?”

“Just,” Ten started with a sigh, he wanted to sleep, “I forgot to bend my knees properly when I landed from a jump and I lost balance and fell.”

“Rookie mistake.”

“And how would you know?”

There was a small pause as TY took the turn that led up to Ten’s house.

“I may have watched a documentary or two about ballet, read few books.”

“Oh? I’m flattered that my presence is introducing you to some aspects of fine culture.”

The smile that appeared on TY’s face was small and peculiar, but Ten did not have the brain capacity to dig into that and tease TY about it at that moment. 

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” TY asked after Ten was settled on the couch, his leg resting on a pillow in TY’s lap, an ice pack pressed to his swollen ankle.

“Like you said, rookie mistake.” Ten mumbled, looking at his feet, wiggling his toes a little just to make sure he still had motor function. They were too numb that he couldn’t feel them. Everything ached.

“No, I meant what happened to make you this-” TY made an encompassing gesture with his hand in the general direction of Ten’s face. Ten could think of few descriptors: sad, angry, _pathetic_.

“Your phone screen is cracked.” was what TY settled on eventually, sending a quick look at said phone on the table. His hand was gentle as he lifted the ice pack to feel if the swelling was going down.  

Ten knew he could not bullshit his way out of this conversation, and maybe he didn’t want to to begin with.  It was always easy for Ten to talk to people; it was talking about things that mattered that was hard.

TY knew enough about Ten’s life at that point, he knew that Ten had left Thailand for Korea and then Korea for England before finally moving to the USA at the age of twenty. He knew Ten was a somewhat sought after freelance ballet dancer. He had even sat down and watched quietly as Ten showed him few clips from his plays. Maybe it was time he told TY the full story.

“So I already told you how few months into working in the states, I gained a reputation quickly.” TY frowned in confusion at the unexpected opening. “Well I guess the fame got into my head, I became this sort of…I don’t know. I felt like I was on top of the world, and I was, career wise, especially this last year.”

At first it’d been manageable; there was no harm in feeling pride in one’s work and so Ten had relished in the recognition. Soon, pride had changed into conceit and arrogance. He was well aware of it. All he’d heard was praise, all the directors he’d worked with had told him he was perfect, everyone had been calling him perfect. He loved it.

“Then this director came around. He kept criticizing everything I did. He was driving me up the wall. Turns out I apparently wasn’t even an option for his play to begin with, Johnny just pushed for me and the producers took me. He hated me.”

No one had ever been able to get under Ten’s skin like that director had. He’d been condescending, unprofessional and an asshole, so Ten had acted the same way.

“We got into a really bad fight two weeks before the first show and he benched me, saying if I don’t learn to _behave_ my understudy will do the show.” Ten took a deep breath and rubbed at the bridge of his nose, he wasn’t going to cry again.

TY was quiet as he listened to Ten, his hands carefully resting on Ten’s uninjured foot.

“I was furious. I went out and partied with some questionable characters who thought the idea of wrecking the director’s car was genius –you know, scare him a bit. I don’t know what I was thinking, honestly.” Ten had felt untouchable, as if whatever would happen, his skill would vouch for him. He’d been so wrong.

“I got arrested, but the fucker said he won’t press charges as long as I’m off the show and away from him –said if he even sees me on the street he’s going to get a restraining order and go to the press.” The media rarely paid attention to ballet or ballet dancers beyond the customary article on a breakthrough play or there, but everyone loved a scandalous story about artists going nuts.

“Things would have been a lot worse for me, but I had- have good people around me.” God, he was grateful to have Johnny as his manager and as his friend. “So Johnny thought it’d be good to send me away, to repent, relax and stay out of trouble till the fucker leaves New York.”

“I was supposed to come back and do the plays I signed up for, but they tried renegotiating the terms and they – God I’m so angry. They want to put me in the background, as a backup dancer and no offense to anyone who does that, but I didn’t fucking give up half my life climbing the ranks just to get back to point zero.”

Ten flung his arm over his eyes and took few deep breaths. There was a long stretch of silence before TY finally spoke.

“So,” he started slowly, he made sure Ten was looking at him before he continued, “do you think your desire to wreck the guy’s car stems from your inability to drive one?”

“Fuck you!” Ten burst out in laughter as he delivered few measured kicks with his uninjured leg to TY’s shoulder. TY was laughing too and things felt like they weren’t completely terrible anymore.

“You know it’s normal,” TY then said, “you’re young and stupid, you’re only what? Forty five?”

“Hey!” Ten didn’t know how TY managed to be so comforting while also fucking with him like that.

“You don’t look a day over thirty nine.”

“Stop it!” Ten chuckled as he aimed another kick at TY’s shoulder.

“You’re only _twenty three_ , Ten. You get to be hot-headed and reckless. Important thing is that you didn’t hurt anybody or completely destroy your career. This is just a small setback.” TY’s voice took a more serious edge; he was talking as if he were years older than Ten instead of just one.

“God, you sound like Johnny.”

“Well Johnny sounds like a man who knows what he’s talking about.” TY joked, squeezing Ten’s calf. Ten had found out that TY was a very tactical person once you got close enough to him, he loved pinching and patting Ten’s cheeks, loved flicking his ear when Ten got on his nerves and he loved offering these small squeezes and kneads here and there when he spoke. His touches were comforting, Ten loved them.

“Just, don’t be too hard on yourself… I know it might seem like a lot right now, like you can’t get back up from this, but the world is still gonna be there when you wake up tomorrow, relax.”

Ten stayed quiet. TY looked like he had something more to say; he kept opening and closing his mouth, a frown marring his features.

“I- I made some stupid decisions myself, few years back…I treated everyone around me like shit…ended up losing the person I loved the most in the world-” Pain was evident on TY’s face as he spoke. Ten knew that he didn’t like to bring up his past, that whatever had happened to him before and after that accident was life changing in all the worst ways.

Ten was lost for words. He knew he was shit at comforting people, but he knew enough to sit up and take TY’s hand in his and squeeze it gently.

TY looked at him then, teary eyed but with a tiny smile on his face before squeezing Ten’s hand back.

Ten rested his head on the back of the couch and kept holding TY’s hand, just _being there_.

Time passed as they sat there in comfortable silence, until TY gave their joined hands a little shake to wake Ten up; he had dozed off. 

“Time for bed, ballerino.” TY said as he carefully extracted himself from the couch without jolting Ten’s foot.

“No.” Ten whined; he could just sleep on the couch, “I can’t take the stairs.”

“I’ll carry you, come on.” TY crouched in front of Ten and Ten let out a tiny giggle.

“What? No!”

“You either get on my back or it’s gonna be a fireman carry.”

“You wouldn’t!” Ten said as threateningly as he could while also trying to repress a giggle. TY stood up to his full height before suddenly diving in to pick Ten up and sling him over his shoulder.

“Holy shit!” Ten screamed, holding into TY’s shirt for dear life. “Fuck, you’re strong, okay, put me down, piggyback please!” TY put him down, smiling smugly, before crouching down again. This time Ten got onto TY’s back without complaints. TY was a lot stronger than he looked; he also smelled good and was so warm it made Ten feel safe.

“Come cook lunch for me tomorrow.” Ten mumbled after he was tucked in bed.

“Clocked in or for free?”

“Ouch, and I thought we were friends.”

“Good night, Ten, see you tomorrow.” Ten smiled, a soft caress on his cheek being the last thing he registered before he surrendered to slumber.

**

In theory, resting at home doing nothing for two days would have drove Ten nuts, but in reality it wasn’t so bad. He’d had the chance to finally binge watch Nailed It –TY had recommended it, joking about how Ten would make a great contestant on the show; He’d got to calm down and finally call Johnny again to talk things more thoroughly; Johnny had assured him that he would bounce back from this and that he had a bunch of offers from, albeit smaller, no less important theatres. 

Ten was going through some director’s online portfolio Johnny had sent him that morning; the woman had done some remarkable work. She had a photo album of all the dancers she’d worked with included on her portfolio; it was cute. Ten was supposed to be at the beach right that moment, but Sally had called TY in for a job, making them delay their outing for few hours, so he had the time. He thought it would be interesting if he could catch some familiar faces among the people she had done work with.

Ten recognized few faces in the pictures, some he had worked with, some he had only bumped into. As the dates went further back in time, the less people he could recognize; it was a fickle industry, most people rarely stuck around for too long. He reached a point dating to four years ago and decided it was time to stop when suddenly a particular face caught his attention.

TY’s face.

Ten brought the tablet closer to his face.

He felt the wind get knocked out of him.

It was TY’s face in the picture, smiling and elegant, sans beard and sans scars, hair short and dyed a fiery red. It was a full body shot of him with two other people; TY was clad in tights and a tank top, pointe shoes on as he posed for the photo.

Ten knew that face, from before. He shakily clicked on the picture then slid his eyes down to the bottom of the screen to read the names of the people in it.

 _Taeyong Lee_. Ten knew that name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *removes mask off TY and gasps* it's taeyong!  
> im only pretending to know stuff abt ballet or how the ballet industry works or how anything works really, cz i dont.  
> thank you for the kudos and comments, theyre the juice that keeps me going  
> next update is on tuesday


	4. Chapter 4

 

Taeyong Lee, TaeYong, TY. Of course, of fucking course. Ten felt so stupid.

He knew Taeyong Lee; _everyone_ knew Taeyong Lee. He was a prodigy, American Ballet Theatre’s golden child.

Taeyong was the American Ballet’s youngest ever principal, a title he'd been crowned with before even reaching eighteen years of age. Ten had still been in the academy at that time, still learning; while Taeyong had already been performing on world stages.

Ten vaguely remembered their instructor telling the class about Taeyong; an example to follow, a role model for them, an inspiration; they should all thrive to be like him. Ten had thought it was all bullshit. Ten had never wanted to be like anyone; Ten had only wanted to be himself, and be recognized for being himself. That was why he’d made sure to never get caught up in obsessing over other dancers or their achievements. That was why he’d never cared to research Taeyong or dig around to find out what had really happened to him.

The story he recalled was that Taeyong had had some sort of accident. Ten remembered when it happened. He’d been in London, finishing his last couple of shows before moving to New York. Everyone had been gossiping; they were rumors about what had happened, each rumor more scandalous than the other. The official story that made it to the papers was that Taeyong had badly injured his knee and that he was going on an indefinite hiatus. There were no interviews or recorded meetings with Taeyong after that. He had always had this air of exclusivity around him, kept on a pedestal, famous, brilliant, unattainable. 

And then _poof_ , he'd disappeared.

Ten had seen the way people had reacted to Taeyong’s retirement; faked sympathy and displaced concern. They were all vultures. Taeyong’s fall had been an opportunity for them, all of them; one less competitor to worry about.

Not even a year later and Taeyong had been forgotten, replaced, mentioned in passing here and there but without much care. Other people were on top. Their world was cruel, it grieved no one; it stopped for no one’s sake. 

Ten remembered being struck by the image of Taeyong the first time he visited the ABT main office; Taeyong, picture perfect, posing in a poster proudly displayed with previous ABT principals.

And now he was sitting with him in a pick-up truck, in Warrenville, Maine.

TY, _Taeyong,_ had finished the job and came to pick Ten up for their beach day plans. Ten’s mind was reeling; he didn’t know how to approach a confrontation. He didn’t know if he even wanted a confrontation.

“What’s wrong?” Taeyong asked, interrupting Ten’s fifteenth scenario of how this conversation could potential go.

“Just been doing some thinking.”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your full name, TY?”

There.

Taeyong visibly stiffened. There was a long pause as he continued driving.

“Taeyong Lee.”

It finally felt real. Taeyong saying his full name finally made it all real and Ten felt a weird sense of bitterness bubbling in his throat. They were friends; Ten had laid his heart out for Taeyong.

“Do you think that lowly of me?”

“Ten, I never lied to you about anything.”

“But you still didn’t trust me with the truth.”

Ten was torn between asking questions –yell at Taeyong, demand to know why he would keep this from him- and asking him to pull over so he can leave. He wanted to fight and argue and make a scene, but he also wanted to just go home.

Silence fell in the car as Taeyong kept driving. They weren’t even going in the direction of the beach anymore. Ten didn’t notice that Taeyong had taken a turn until the car stopped in front of the abandoned engine factory few miles out of town.

Taeyong took a deep breath before glancing Ten’s way once, and then he was out of the car.

Ten watched as Taeyong stood in front of the entrance to the factory. He secured his earbuds in his ears and then tapped at his phone before looking back to where Ten was, still inside the car.

Ten got out and Taeyong walked into the factory, steps slow and measured.

He followed Taeyong in, keeping his pace slow to maintain those few feet separating them.

Taeyong then stopped; His entire body rose with a deep inhale before turning to face Ten, locking eyes with him. There was a pause where they just stared at each other, then Taeyong moved and Ten let out an involuntary gasp.  

Taeyong was _dancing_.

Ten watched in astonishment as Taeyong danced to the silent tune only he could hear.

Ethereal was a word Ten had read in books and caught in poetry, a word he’d  never thought he’d ever use it to describe someone, but Taeyong was just that as he danced: ethereal.

Taeyong’s dancing was unpredictable, captivating, dripping with absolute raw emotion; technique polished to perfection, but with a rough edge to it that Ten knew was pure natural talent.

The way the sun filtered through the thick dirty windows and lit the gray walls of the factory only seemed to highlight Taeyong’s line more. He was wearing a goddamn hoodie in the ugliest green Ten had ever seen, hair loose and messy; he was doing _pliés_ and _tendus_ in jeans and boots. It was ridiculous, and yet he managed to make it look elegant and sharp. The contrast would have thrown Ten off if Taeyong’s dancing weren’t so breathtaking.

Taeyong looked vulnerable, but at the same time so mighty as if he could break the sky in half, torn between following technique and just completely letting go.

It was private, intimate.

Ten felt like he was peeking from behind a curtain at something he wasn’t supposed to see. But Taeyong _wanted_ him to see, Taeyong was laying his heart out for Ten, in his own way.

Ten was given front row seat to a private show only _he_ was granted the privilege of attending.

He followed Taeyong deeper into the factory as though in a trance. Taeyong seemed to know the place by heart. Ten could see the appeal; it had large enough space and tall enough ceilings that it resembled an actual stage.

They were in a different section now, better lit, and Taeyong’s previously shy and small moves began to expand. He was putting more force into his steps, but still with the same fragility he’d started with.

To be a brilliant dancer, you had to take into account every miniscule movement your body made, the way every little part of you moved, your eyes, your neck, your fingers; they should all serve the performance. Taeyong did all that a more, even his hair seemed to take part in his magnificent choreography in the way it shielded his face or fanned around him to reveal it.

Ten was thrown off balance by Taeyong as he kept switching between styles from different schools of dance the further he went. There was athleticism in his jumps and turns, a precision that could only be acquired from years and years of training, but also a complete lack of inhibition that left Ten eagerly anticipating the next move. His transitions were too smooth that Ten only noticed _after_ they had happened.

Ten was _good_. Ten knew other _good_ dancers. But nothing like Taeyong, nothing like this, Taeyong was in a league of his own. He managed to make even a simple pirouette into a fucking spectacle, an incredible display of skill and raw talent.

Ten knew how to move his body, knew how to act, he could easily mimic what Taeyong was doing, but achieving the same impact Taeyong’s dance had would be difficult. He wasn’t sure he could ever deliver that same _punch_.

He had watched what he could find on Taeyong’s dancing earlier that morning. He’d had to dig online to find some of Taeyong’s solos, in which he was magnificent. Those were choreographed, practiced, hammered into him though. This, this however, was Taeyong raw, unrestricted, completely free.

The dance had started out small, reserved, carefully contained and as Taeyong transitioned, the moves grew bolder and bigger, the jetés longer, more intense, more dramatic. They were even deeper into the factory, in a bigger room, with more windows. It was impossibly bright, the sunlight fanning around Taeyong as he leaped and turned and leaped and turned yet again. They reached the climax of the routine when Taeyong preformed a quadruple pirouette on pointe followed by a double kick in the air. Then his body crashed to the floor. Ten gasped, thinking Taeyong had hurt himself. A sigh of relief escaped his lips when he saw that it was all part of the dance.

The denouement came so unexpectedly and quite literally with Taeyong falling to the floor that it left Ten panting for air, as if he were the one dancing.

Taeyong then sat up before stretching on the floor again, mimicking a wounded animal’s crawl. It looked beautifully pitiful, Ten wanted to reach out and hold him in his arms.

The dance ended with Taeyong inhaling dramatically, entire body taut with effort before slowly, gracefully lying back on the floor as he released a loud exhale.

“You’re so fucking dramatic.” Ten said with a chuckle, he couldn’t stop his lips from stretching in a grin. He had expected a conversation, an argument, not this.

Taeyong looked at him as he took the earbuds out of his ears, mirroring Ten’s grin before jumping to his feet. Ten had seen the strength with which Taeyong danced. Those were not the moves of a man whose knee was injured.

“You’ve healed.”

“Have I?”

**

They were outside again, having their picnic in the yard of the abandoned factory. It had its own charm. Taeyong had spread the picnic cloth over the trunk of the car and was carefully cleaning his hands with wet wipes as Ten took out the food that was in the basket. 

“So you know Johnny? John Seo?” Ten talked way too much about Johnny for Taeyong to not figure out who he was. Johnny had been in the New York ballet scene for over a decade.

“He was working for the ballet company when I was still there, we never had any business together but he was just _too nice_ to me,” Taeyong paused to chuckle, “thought he wanted to sleep with me.”

“Ew, John’s been married for like fifteen years.” Ten had never believed in the whole high school sweethearts concept until he’d met Johnny.

“You say that as if married men don’t cheat.”

“Well not Johnny, he’s too good.”

“That’s what I found out later too. He was close with my assistant so I saw him a lot, I’d even say we were friends. When I had the accident, he tried to help but- well I didn’t want to be around anyone then.” A flash of pain crossed Taeyong’s face at the mention of the accident. “A year ago he gave me a call on my birthday. I don’t know how he got my number, we talked and he asked if he could visit me -I said no. From then on, he’d send me texts on holidays to check on me and tell me I was welcome to spend them with his family.”

“That’s Johnny alright.” Johnny was big on helping people. It was his thing. “I didn’t- he didn’t tell me anything about you being here, I had no idea when I first came.” Ten clarified. The last thing he wanted was for Taeyong to think he’d been trying to trick him into trusting him.

“I know. I was suspicious of you at first though, that you knew who I was but kept pretending you didn’t. But then I figured out you weren’t that good of an actor.”

“Hey!” and just like that, the air between them finally felt light again, lighter than it'd had the entire day.

“So why here?” Ten asked once they had finished eating. Taeyong was leaning back, propped up on his hands as he surveyed the clouds.

“I wanted some place away…and cold,” he started, “I needed to heal _here._ ” He said, jabbing a finger at his chest.

“And have you?”

Taeyong shrugged, eyes still trained on the clouds above.

“The person you lost, who was it?” Ten asked carefully.

Taeyong sat up and locked eyes with Ten for a moment before looking away again. He stayed silent for a while because unlike Ten, he always liked to collect his thoughts and organize them before speaking.

“My sister was eleven when she started ballet classes. I was four back then.” He started and Ten straightened his back, dropping his feet from where they were perched on the edge of the trunk. “She was my hero. I followed her around everywhere, so I asked to take ballet classes too.” Taeyong was smiling, something small and sad.

“Few months in and she lost interest, so she dropped out, but encouraged me to continue ‘cause everyone was saying I was good at it, that I had a natural talent for it. I didn’t care about what everyone said, I was just a kid. All I cared about was my big sister’s approval.” There was a pause as Taeyong took a deep breath.

“I don’t know how much you know about me, Ten. But I got noticed very early on, I was barely a teenager when I started performing professionally, taking roles meant for dancers older than me, more experienced than me. Maybe it was because of how I grew up, or the kind of people I was around from such a young age, but I started growing distant from my family. Guess I wanted to rebel, experience life as a true artist. I was so _stupid_.” The chuckle Taeyong let out was so ugly, full of bitterness. Ten wanted to reach over and hold his hand like he had done the other night.

“My sister didn’t let me push her away though, she was always around. She’d call me every week and visit me as much as she could, she’d attend my shows, and I loved her for it, even though I didn’t show it.”

“I’m sure she knew.” Ten whispered, smiling at Taeyong when he spared a glance in his direction. He could tell this was hard for Taeyong, to share this part of himself with anyone, let alone someone he’d only met a month ago.

“On the night of the accident, she…she came looking for me to hand me an invitation to her wedding.” Ten tensed, he could see that Taeyong’s hands were starting to slightly tremble.

“I was at some party that night and…and she came all the way over to invite me to her wedding because,” another bitter chuckle, “she said she didn’t want to do it over the phone. She was so happy, I had never seen her smile like that before.”

“I was drunk, so she offered me a ride. In the car we- we had an argument about my parents. And I said some awful shit to her-” Taeyong stopped again. He was visibly trying to hold himself back from crying, but to no avail. His cheeks were already stained with fresh tears.

“I said I won’t even bother going to her wedding. I was so fucking drunk and she was crying so neither of us noticed the red light and-” Ten felt tears welling up in his own eyes. Ten loved his family, especially his sister, and he too would have the usual fights and arguments with her every now and then. The thought of losing her the way Taeyong had lost his sister, on such a bitter note, made his heart ache with the need to hold her in his arms and tell her how much he loved her. 

“She passed away that night before the ambulance even got to us.”

Ten closed his eyes shut and let his own tears fall in silent mourning, for Taeyong’s sister and for Taeyong himself.

“I don’t know what’s appropriate to do in these situations,” Ten said after a moment, “but I’m gonna hug you right now.”

Taeyong smiled, sadness and devastation apparent on his features. Ten wanted to fix him, make him forget, get him to laugh, but what Taeyong needed at the moment was a shoulder to cry on, a friend to comfort him. And it was time Ten started learning how to do that.

“A hug would be nice.” Taeyong mumbled as Ten reached to pull him in for a hug. Taeyong took a deep breath then shuddered so violently Ten felt it through his own bones.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through all this.” Taeyong was shaking; hands fisted in the back of Ten’s shirt as he muffled his sobs into Ten’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry you had to lose your sister, I’m so sorry, Taeyong.” Ten mumbled as he hugged him tighter. He wished he could physically reach into Taeyong’s soul to sooth his pain. “It’s okay to miss her, it’s okay to be sad, it’s okay.”

Ten sat there, listening to Taeyong’s broken sobs. Nothing could possibly soothe the sort of pain Taeyong experienced, so Ten did what he could. He hugged him close, trying to offer his friend any comfort he could, patting him on the back while running gentle fingers through his hair like his mother used to do for him as a child.

**

The sun was setting as Taeyong drove them back to Ten’s house. His eyes were red rimmed and puffy from all the crying, and he looked tired. It had been a long day, an eventful and emotionally draining day.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” Ten asked; all he’d been doing that day was ask a question after the other, “about who you are, I mean.”

“I don’t know, I guess I was scared, I’ve completely left that world behind me.” Well that was a lie, Ten thought. Not _completely_ , not if he could dance like he had earlier. Those were the moves and passion of a man who had never stopped dancing a day in his life. “You showed up and brought back so many memories. Maybe I wanted you to tell me first, to figure it all out.”

“You know I would never tell people where you are.”

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t think anyone would remember me anyway.”

“Oh they would.”

Taeyong gave Ten a pointed look paired with an especially cheeky smile. Ten was so glad to see it. 

“Okay listen! I couldn’t _recognize_ you ‘cause of the beard, and the hair!”

Taeyong’s lips then stretched into a full smile.

“Sure not ‘cause of these?” He asked, pointing at his scars.

Ten turned to give him a long appraising look.

“No,” he hummed, squinting comically, “definitely the beard and hair _and_ the stupid name!”

“What stupid name! TY is literally an abbreviation of my actual name!”

“How am I supposed to know that!”

**

Ten went bed soon after Taeyong had dropped him off. They had said their goodbyes a bit awkwardly; it had been a weird day after all, a shifting point.

Ten wanted to call his sister, but it was early morning in Thailand, she was probably in class. He settled for sending her a quick text before dialing Johnny’s number.

“Johnny, why did you send me here?” He asked right off the bat. ”You could have sent me anywhere, why did it have to be the same town as-”

“So you found him?” Ten could hear Johnny’s kids yelling in the background; Johnny must have gone home early for once.

“It’s a town of like twenty people, Johnny.”

“I didn’t send you there to find him, Ten, that town seemed like a good place and the rent was cheap.”

“Yes, the murder house.”

There was muffled noise on the other side before Johnny moved somewhere quieter to continue talking. “I thought that if you do meet, you’d get along. He needs someone to remind him of what he’s missing, help him out of that _state._ ”

“Who the fuck said he needed any help?” Ten mumbled, “fuck you, Johnny.” He then added for effect, albeit without any real bite.

“Hmm, how is he?”

“He’s good, I think. I’ve been friends with him for a while now.”

“Wait…”

It hit Ten then that he hadn’t had a conversation with Johnny other than about work in so long. So he started telling him about the town and how he ended up meeting and befriending Taeyong without knowing who he really was. By the time he reached the part in the story where he discovered TY was Taeyong Lee by accident, Johnny was cackling over the phone.

Jerk.

“Oh my god, now I don’t feel bad about all those times you called me James when we first started working together.”

“Shut up! He’s different from the pictures!” Johnny laughed some more before finally settling down.

“I’m glad you two are friends now.” He said, tone playful but with enough kindness in it that Ten knew he meant it.

Ten was glad he and Taeyong were friends too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im like so EMBARASSED and nervous abt this chapter cz this is the entire reason why I started this fic. Hozier’s movement came out and Sergei was incredible in it and I thought, what if Taeyong,,, and then I thought what if Ten was watching and it snowballed from there into a 9 chaptered story.  
> The dance shares similarities with the one in Movement mv but its not that same story  
> Again disclaimer, idk things abt ballet so idk if anyone can be principal before they reach 18, idk how the ABT works, I have never watched live ballet in my life.  
> Yall thought the person Taeyong lost was a lover, I never said THAT. He said he lost the person he loved the MOST! Idk if you notice a pattern with my writing but family and platonic love is my kink so  
> also Johnny is obviously aged up in this  
> next update is sunday uwu


	5. Chapter 5

 

Things were the same, but not quite. Taeyong was definitely more open and more comfortable around Ten, as if these huge weights he’d been dragging all this time were finally off. They still bantered and teased each other, they still hung out and went out together, only now Ten had the knowledge of who Taeyong really was and Taeyong was not so actively avoiding bringing up his past nor was he pretending to not be able to keep up with Ten whenever he started talking shop.

It felt as if a barrier that had stood between them, one that Ten wasn’t even aware of, broke. It was refreshing.

Ten was sitting in his backyard, basking in the late afternoon sun. June was approaching and the weather was getting steadily warmer.

Taeyong had done laundry and was in the kitchen fixing them glasses of lemonade; he still came around to clean Ten’s house twice a week and Ten still had to pay him.

“Do you even need the money?” Ten asked as he took a sip from his lemonade. For most dancers, there wasn’t lot of money in ballet, but Taeyong wasn’t most people, he used to be a star, he could have easily earned more in a show than other dancers did in a whole season.

“It’s a way to keep busy.” Taeyong replied with a shrug. Ten had been to Taeyong’s house. Taeyong wasn’t poor; he did not need the work at all.

He loved working with his hands though, the table they were using at that moment proof of his labor. The previously rusty and broken table that Ten had found in the front yard when he’d first moved in was now fixed and covered with a fresh coat of paint. Taeyong had even taken a trip to Jose’s to buy some accessories for it.

“Does that mean I don’t have to pay you?” Ten asked, earning himself a pointed look from his friend.

“Pay up, ballet boy.”

“ _You’re_ the ballet boy, ballet boy.” Ten shot back as he rummaged through his wallet.

He bit at this cheek as he counted the money before handing it to Taeyong. The ballet remark had reminded him that he’d been considering bringing something up for a while now.

“Come to the gym with me tonight.”

“What for?” Taeyong knew what for.

“Come on, the gym’s floor is way better than the greasy and dirty and honestly dangerous floor of that factory,” Ten started, he knew it hadn’t been easy for Taeyong to open up or share that part of himself with Ten, but they’d skirted around the subject long enough, it’d been weeks. “Plus there are mirrors.”

Taeyong was fiddling with the bills in his hands, playing at counting them; even though he usually never did count them, not right in front of Ten at least, so Ten figured he needed more convincing.

“And if it’s privacy you’re worried about, no one comes around when I’m there. I get the place all to myself.”

Taeyong pocketed the money then took a sip of his lemonade.

“Yeah but _why_ do you want me there?”

 _To see you dance again_ , Ten thought. But also because he was selfish, so fucking self-centered; once the sheer astonishment he’d experienced from seeing Taeyong dance for him had worn off, the thought that had stuck to him most was that he wanted to move that way, he wanted to be like that.

“I want to... I want to dance like you, I’ve never seen anyone like you. I _know_ all those moves you’ve done, I _can_ do them, but not like you.”

That got him a look from Taeyong, one of careful assessment. It made Ten feel exposed.

“Teach me.”

He had gone back and watched everything he could find on Taeyong. He had even asked Johnny to email him some clips that weren’t online. Taeyong had never stopped dancing. He had kept going, kept learning and improving.

He had this new raw edge to his dancing that Ten wasn’t sure could even be learned, but that didn't mean he wasn’t going to try.

“I’ll think about it.” Taeyong finally said. That was almost a yes. It was good enough.

**

Thinking about it took about a week before Taeyong showed up at the gym, late at night, looking like he’d rather be anywhere but there. He had his hands in his pockets as he walked around the room, inspecting it like a cautious little animal exploring a new territory.

“How long have you been here?” He asked after he finally settled next to Ten, eyes intensely fixed on him so that he didn’t have to meet his own reflection in the mirrors. Ten knew they could be a bit overwhelming.

“I don’t know, since seven, maybe.” It was past midnight.

“You should head home.”

“Not yet.” Ten was indeed tired, he was sweaty and aching, but seeing Taeyong in the room got him buzzing with renewed energy.

“You realize you need to rest, right? I’ll drive you home.”

“But you’re here, come on!” Ten could see his face in the mirror behind Taeyong, lit up with a big smile.

“I didn’t bring a change of clothes or anything.” Ten frowned, Taeyong was making excuses, as if Ten hadn’t witnessed him whip out a whole routine while wearing jeans and boots in an abandoned factory just couple of weeks ago. “I just…came to watch, this time.”

“ _This_ time?”

Taeyong gave him a curt nod.

“Next time- Tomorrow, you’ll come prepared.” Ten instructed, furrowing his brow and pointing a finger at Taeyong’s face for effect.

Taeyong’s melodic laugh filled the room as he gave another nod.

“What are you doing anyway?”

Ten ran his hand through his hair and got into position in the middle of the room.

“I’ve been learning few choreos, but I want to focus on this routine I’m working on for a new audition tape.”

Ten was going through the offers Johnny had sent him. Most of them were for the mid fall or early winter because Johnny was adamant about keeping him away from New York as long as the threat of that restraining order was in the air. That didn’t stop Ten from pestering Johnny to get him something for mid-summer, he didn’t want to go back home to just sit around in his apartment.

“Want to show me?” Taeyong asked tentatively as he took a seat on the floor few feet away from Ten, facing his direction.

Ten glanced down at him then back up at his reflection before moving to change the music. Taeyong had shown him what he could do, and now it was Ten’s turn to give Taeyong a show.

Call it cliché, but Ten always lost himself in his dancing. He had internalized all the techniques that had been drilled into him by his instructors that he no longer had to think about precision. It was a given. He was a goddamn professional and he was amazing at what he did.

Dancing for Taeyong felt as exhilarating as dancing on a stage for hundreds of people. Every time Ten’s eyes locked with Taeyong’s, he’d get a radiant smile in reward. Taeyong was looking at him attentively, watching him, not missing a single beat.

Ten reveled in the attention. 

The sound of applause echoed through the room once Ten finished. Taeyong was making a show of clapping his hands and doing sound effects as well. Dork.

“Bravo!” He said theatrically, as he got to his feet, still clapping.

Ten couldn’t stop smiling from how giddy he felt. Dancing in front of, _for_ Taeyong was such an experience.

“So what did you think?”  

“You’re amazing.” Taeyong said with a smile, racking his eyes over Ten’s face. He had taken the couple of steps that separated them from each other and was standing close to Ten, looking at him with a new glint in his eyes.

“And?” Ten prompted breathlessly as he wiped his face with his shirt. He loved the praise, but he needed a more detailed feedback; he knew he was good, he wanted to be better.

“I’ll tell you more, tomorrow, when we officially start this thing, whatever you want it to be.” Taeyong said, eyes following Ten as he sat down to take off his pointe shoes. “I don’t really think I have anything to teach you, Ten. _But_ there are definitely stuff you can improve, choreography and transition wise, very subtle things, everything else is just… perfect.”

Ten beamed, at being called perfect by Taeyong, and because there were after all gaps, points to work on, things to learn from Taeyong.

And God, did he want to learn.

**

True to his word, Taeyong arrived the next day to the gym early, a backpack clutched in his hand.

Ten had asked for Taeyong’s opinion on his dancing and Taeyong had a lot of opinions. He was as meticulous with his monitoring as he was with everything else he did. He noticed things about Ten’s dancing and body line that neither Ten nor any of his previous instructors ever had.

Most of the comments had to do with Ten’s choreography, though. It was never his strongest suit anyway. Taeyong had introduced few changes and given few tips on how to do a certain move or the other the night before, when he had driven Ten home. Today, they were going to try them out.

“Oh so you do own something other than cowboy jeans and ugly jackets?” Ten teased when Taeyong came out of the locker room, clad in sweatpants and a tank top, along with a pair of really nice sneakers. Ten wished he could see him in pointe shoes and proper ballet attire one day though.

“My jackets aren’t ugly.” Taeyong mumbled as he started stretching. Ten stared at him through the mirror. Ten could always tell that Taeyong was attractive, even under all the messy hair and the beard and the awful clothes. But seeing Taeyong like this, stripped off of his layers, hair up in a bun, arms bare and lean muscles bulging as he did his stretches was a sight to behold.

He had to swallow before turning his attention to his own reflection. His hair was getting longer, his bangs were almost falling into his eyes. He looked healthy; or at least that was what his mom had been saying recently every time they skyped. His cheeks were a lot fuller than they were two months ago. He had given up on his diet –he wasn’t letting himself go completely or anything, but he’d been indulging himself a lot. It wasn’t his fault that Taeyong’s food always tasted so good that one serving or two were never enough.

“Okay! Let’s rock and roll!” Taeyong shouted like an over eager football coach as he went to fiddle with the speakers.

“Please, never speak again, ever.” Ten said just in time for the music to start and drown out the sound of Taeyong’s cackling. Taeyong loved dropping outdated slang in conversation sometimes; early on in their friendship, Ten had thought that Taeyong actually spoke like that because of his circle of middle aged friends and colleagues only to figure out that Taeyong just liked messing with him.

Taeyong thought it was hilarious. Ten hated him.

Well, not really.

**

Over the next couple of weeks, the image Ten had had of Taeyong once again transformed.

Ten started seeing him in a completely new light. Ironic how every time Ten thought he had Taeyong figured out, he got proven wrong.

Dancer Taeyong was a vision. Ten could never get bored of watching him dance. Even demonstrating a move to Ten was a spectacle. Ten felt privileged to be able to witness such brilliance every day.

Teacher Taeyong, however, was dangerous to Ten’s health.

He was all about hands on teaching and it did _things_ to Ten’s heart.

It wasn’t only when he stood too close to Ten when he tried to get his arms _exactly_ where he envisioned them or to have his wrist rotated this way or that. It was also when Ten executed a move perfectly or came up with an interesting idea to add to the choreography; Taeyong would hug him in reward, or squish his face or ruffle his hair –even if it would be drenched in sweat and Taeyong would always end up making a face. 

It made Ten’s heart flutter in ways he’d never associated with Taeyong before.

Taeyong had trusted him, not just with his identity but with his past as well, with the most vulnerable parts of who he was. Taeyong was free around him.

And every day Ten was discovering a bunch of new quirks of his, and experiencing all sorts of new emotions around him.

He liked Taeyong, he'd always liked him.

But now he was falling. Not in love; that was too big of a word and too scary of an emotion. But he was falling in _something_.

**

It was a Friday night and they were at the bar with Sally and Alex for a long overdue Karaoke night.

It was a full house; this was after all one of the rare actual fun night time activities the town had. Ten was so ready to get absolutely wasted.

It’d been so long.

He’d been hyper fixated on Taeyong and their dance sessions for the past two weeks. He was addicted to the sight of Taeyong’s dancing and of Taeyong’s watching him dance. And then there was the whole _feelings_ issue.

He needed to get out of his own head for a while.

Cue, alcohol.

It was his second time meeting Taeyong’s boss, Sally. She was just as tall as her wife but not as broad; however, she was a lot more intimidating somehow. They made such a lovely couple. Ten made sure to tell her so once he started getting drunk enough to get chatty, well chattier.

She kept giving him these funny looks as he gulped a shot after shot before settling for a tall glass of beer. Ten thought she was judging his drinking habits until he noticed the looks were not only pointed at _him_ , but at him _and_ Taeyong, _together_.

Oh.

He took another sip of his drink and turned his attention to the group of high school graduates who were on stage, embarrassing themselves by horribly singing Single Ladies. Alex had gone to put her and Sally’s names on the list of people to go on stage, so it was just the three of them at the table.

“I’m so happy someone finally came around to teach TY how to have some fun.” Sally said over the loud music. She was leaning over the table, smile wide as she glanced between him and Taeyong. “He always said no to these things before.”

“But at what cost? He’s sucking the fun out of me.” Ten responded, far too loudly.

Sally giggled and Taeyong shook his head with an exaggerated sigh. God, he was so cute. He was wearing one of his shirts that was actually his size, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, while his hair was neatly held in a low ponytail. Ten found himself drawn to his eyes though, to the way they were sparkling in the dim bar light; body radiating warmth Ten could feel from where their arms were touching.

“Wait, that came out weird.” Ten said after a moment when he finally processed what he’d just said. He needed another drink.

He ended up joining Alex as she took the stage to sing some country hit that got the entire bar singing along. And then he got even more drunk and decided that singing Call Me Maybe was a good idea. Which turned out, it wasn’t because a) he didn’t know the lyrics, b) his eyesight was for shit and c) he was completely off tune.

It was a disaster, he had so much fun.

But drunk Ten was not any less fixated on Taeyong than sober Ten was.

Taeyong was helping him out of the car when Ten felt a surge of affection towards his friend that he needed to express some of it or he’d explode.

“You know you’re my best friend, TY. Well second best friend, Johnny is my best friend but fuck him he always says his husband is his best friend so you know what?” He paused for effect. Taeyong was laughing, Ten adored that sound. “Now you’re promoted to my first best friend!”

Taeyong hadn’t drunk at all. He was so disgustingly sober; Ten hated him, but also liked him a lot and wanted to kiss him because Taeyong was looking at him _fondly_. Ten loved that look, it made him feel so cherished.

 _I want to kiss him,_ Ten thought as he slowly followed Taeyong to the entrance of his house.

Taeyong’s soft laughter echoed in the air as he unlocked his front door.

 _I like you so much, I want to kiss you_ ran through Ten’s mind on repeat.

“I’m gonna throw up.” was what made it out of his mouth though. And then all the vomit, right on Taeyong’s front door welcome rug.

**

Morning found Ten sitting on the bench in Taeyong’s porch, nursing a big mug of some fusion tea Taeyong had said helped with hangovers.

Ten had fuzzy memories of Taeyong helping him drink some water before dumping him in bed the night before, which explained why he had woken up with a killer headache, in his clothes from last night, reeking of alcohol.

Taking a shower and changing into a fresh pair of sweats and a long sleeve t-shirt of Taeyong’s had definitely helped him feel better. Taeyong’s clothes smelled nice and there was no one around to judge him as he buried his nose in the collar of his shirt to bask in the scent. Taeyong was inside, cleaning around the house because he was weird like that.

He came out a while later with a plate of food and another mug full of tea.

Ten gave him a little smile in thanks and scooted over so that he could sit next to him. The bench barely had enough space for two people, so they had to huddle close.

They sat there in comfortable silence as Ten drank some more tea. The plate of mini sandwiches Taeyong had brought out sat there on the small table in front of them, untouched.

They’d been spending more time together lately, but it’d been a while since they just got to sit and be.

“Do you ever think about going back?” Ten asked. The topics of Taeyong’s plans, future or anything beyond the town were always off limits. Ten had never dared to ask because he’d never thought he’d care once he’d leave. But now he might, _a little._

“All the time.” Taeyong responded softly.

“So?” Ten asked as he cuddled closer to Taeyong, wrapping his arms around him. Ten got touchy when he was hungover and Taeyong was always so solid and warm it made Ten feel safe.

“I feel like people would focus more on my scars than they would my dancing and I know how everyone would handle my return, try to sensationalize it. I don’t want to become _that_ dancer with the tragic back story.” He said with a light chuckle, tinged with an awful lot of sadness.

“No one would watch you dance and think about anything else other than your dancing, Taeyong.”

“That’s just you, Ten.”

“Well other than dancing, you could teach? Or do choreography, you have amazing ideas and-”

“I thought of it all, Ten.” He interrupted, not unkindly though. “Anything you’d tell me now is something I’ve already thought about. I don’t know, Ten,” He took a pause then, letting out a sigh so deep Ten felt it reverberate through his own chest. “I just don’t know.”

“It’s okay to not know.” Ten sat up properly and turned to face him. “But you’d be amazing, whatever you decide to do.” He added as he grabbed Taeyong’s hand and gave it a light squeeze.

Taeyong was looking at him with that fond look again. Ten felt himself getting flustered, but when he moved to pull his hand away, Taeyong didn’t let him, intertwining their fingers together instead. That was new. Ten felt a flush high on his cheeks.

“Ten,” Taeyong started, his gaze taking an intense edge. He was doing the thing where he organized what he wanted to say carefully in his head before saying it. He only did that when whatever he was going to bring up was serious. So Ten waited. “Can I kiss you?” Taeyong asked.

Ten’s eyes widened in shock.

Taeyong wanted to kiss him.

Ten felt himself swallow before nodding a little frantically.

 _Taeyong wanted to kiss him,_ and was smiling as his hands settled on Ten’s shoulders. “Relax,” he whispered before cupping Ten’s face and bringing their lips together.

It was an explosion of emotion so sudden that Ten was sure if he weren’t sitting would have brought him to his knees.  

Ten instinctively wrapped his arms around Taeyong’s neck to bring him in closer. His hands were a little shaky as he buried them in long strands of hair. He felt Taeyong laugh softly against his lips and he couldn’t help but give him a tiny bite in retaliation for his cheekiness.

His heart was soaring, the feeling as exhilarating as dancing to a full theatre; probably even more.

They pulled away for air and just kept holding onto each other, foreheads pressed together as they gazed into each other’s eyes, lips stretched in wide smiles. Ten bit his bottom lip before diving in for another kiss.

“Did I say something weird last night when I was drunk?” He asked when they broke apart once again. He had a nagging feeling in the back of his head that he’d missed something important.

“You said a lot.” Taeyong replied with a teasing smile. Ten wanted to kiss him again.

“Oh god.” It suddenly all came back to him. He might not have used his inside voice when he’d been thinking about kissing Taeyong the night before.

“You said you liked me, you said you wanted to kiss me.” Taeyong emphasized each point with a light peck on Ten’s lips.

“Is that why you did it? ‘cause I wanted it?”

“That and because I wanted it too, for a while now, but wasn’t sure if you felt the same way.” Taeyong’s tone was serious, but his eyes were kind and his fingers were gentle as they caressed Ten’s cheeks.

“I do, I like you.” God, it felt good to say it.

“I figured. You said it like seven separate times last night.” Taeyong said, playfully bumping his nose against Ten’s.

“And you kept count.” Ten whispered, placing a kiss on Taeyong’s cheek, then another one down his jaw, then another one on his lips.

“Mm, but it’s good to hear it from you while you’re sober.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BADUM TSSSSSSSS  
> I don’t have a lot to say abt this chapter, I hope it makes sense and it didn’t feel rushed, I try to get away with a LOT making the whole thing from Ten’s pov lmfao  
> next update is on thursday uwu


	6. Chapter 6

Ten woke up with a mouthful of hair and an armful of one Taeyong Lee.

His bedroom had a soft yellow hue to it from the beams of sunlight filtering through from the parted blinds. Taeyong was lying on his stomach, dead to the world, head tucked under Ten’s chin and arm thrown over his midriff.

Ten loved mornings like these; when he’d wake up first and get to see Taeyong sleeping, breathing softly, at peace.

It’d been two weeks since that kiss on Taeyong’s porch. Two weeks of absolute bliss. The closest Ten had felt this way about someone was when he’d been eighteen, completely head over heels with a Ukrainian boy from the academy. That had been the only other true romantic relationship he’d ever had, the only other relationship where his actual feelings had been involved.

It’d been as terrifying as it’d been thrilling.

He’d got his heart broken when the boy had had to leave to Russia. He knew the situation with Taeyong wasn’t so different; _he_ would have to leave eventually this time around, but he still had conflicting feelings about whether that would mean ending this relationship as well or not. 

Ten glanced down at the arm Taeyong had on his stomach. He traced the scars marring it with a feather light touch. He’d had the time to get used to scars, touch them, feel them, figure out how it felt for Taeyong when he did. They weren’t ugly. But they weren’t pretty either. They were just _there;_ part of Taeyong, a testament of his surviving that terrible accident, a constant reminder of his loss as well.

Ten pressed a soft kiss to Taeyong’s head before quietly getting out of bed. He tucked the covers more securely around Taeyong before moving to pull the blinds over the window. Taeyong had come to bed very late because he’d stayed up all night. He’d had an important match with his League of Legends buddies –Taeyong took his gaming very seriously. Ten thought he’d spare him an extra hour of sleep while he made breakfast.

He could do breakfast. Pancakes maybe, boxed batter of course.

Taeyong always did so much. Just the night before, he’d made them an incredibly delicious dinner and then topped it off with a chocolate soufflé for desert. Taeyong had been dabbling with baking and everything he made turned out amazing from the first try because he really was good at everything.

 _Really good_ at everything. From his dancing to his craftsmanship to his cooking to his kissing, to things he did to Ten in the bedroom –and on the couch and that one time in the kitchen. Ten couldn't believe his luck.

Ten was falling and falling hard, and it frightened him because along with the pure joy of being with Taeyong came the doubts and fears. He couldn’t shake off the feeling that someone was going to slip the rug from under his feet at any minute.

Ten knew he’d need to have a serious conversation with Taeyong concerning their _relationship,_ if it could even be classified as one. They were so caught up in each other that neither of them dared to breach that particular subject, not yet, not when everything felt like a dream, as fragile as one too. One touch and it would all evaporate in the air.

It felt like living on borrowed time; stolen moments that would all end too soon.

Ten didn’t want to think about the dreaded end, not when being with Taeyong was so satisfying on all levels.

Ten loved every second of it, so he decided to push thinking about the future to a deeper corner of his brain until he absolutely had to deal with.

***

Boyfriend Taeyong was like friend Taeyong; funny, charming and so incredibly kind and considerate, but also romantic and unabashedly cheesy.

Their outings and time spent together felt more or less the same, but also different because Taeyong would lace their hands together when they went out and kiss him in greeting and hold Ten closer when they’d be watching a movie or at the bar having a drink.

Practice was different too because now more often than not, it was cut short. Taeyong’s hands-on teaching had only become handsier, which often ended up with them on the floor of the gym, making out before getting too worked up and rushing back to Ten’s house.

It was their honeymoon phase –probably the only phase of the relationship they’d have at all; keeping their hands off of each other was out of the question. The thrill of being with Taeyong was unrivaled. Ten didn’t know if it was because of their circumstances and the rush that came with how awfully fleeting it all felt or if it was purely and utterly Taeyong.

They were in the gym going through Ten’s new and polished routine. It was the product of both Ten’s and Taeyong’s ideas, a flawless combination of their styles and techniques. Ten couldn’t contain his pure delight at being able to perform it, call it his.

Taeyong was looking at him with that glint in his eyes again. That glint that screamed pride and adoration. It did things to Ten’s heart. He’d trade all the standing ovations in the world for that look in Taeyong’s eyes.

But it was always the praise that got to him.

“Perfect,” Taeyong breathed, slender fingers deftly pushing Ten’s bangs out of his eyes for him, “you’re perfect, Ten, there is really nothing I can to teach you, never had been. You’re already perfect. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.”

Ten preened at Taeyong’s compliments. They made him want to do better, leap higher, touch the fucking sky, if only so he could impress Taeyong more, make him feel prouder.  

“I wish _you_ could see yourself through my eyes.” Ten said in response, placing a soft peck on Taeyong’s nose before moving away to restart the music, “come on. Let’s go over it again, dance with me this time!”

“You’re just using the teaching thing as an excuse to get me to dance.”

“Oops you caught me!” Ten said with a fake gasp before beckoning to Taeyong to take position.

***

July first arrived with the first real hot weather of the year, promising a hotter summer to come. Ten was inside his house, fan on at the highest setting as he checked the pantry for all the ingredients he’d need for the night’s dinner.

It was Taeyong’s birthday.

Ten had bought him a nice jacket as a gift and ordered two figurines of his favorite League of Legends champions online –Ten might not be into whatever nerd shit Taeyong was into, but that didn’t stop him from paying attention to all Taeyong’s rambling about his favorite games. He’d got the gift part covered, but he wanted to do something nicer, more personal than a gift bought with money, a nice gesture, he knew those went a long way with Taeyong.

Taeyong loved pampering Ten; he’d cook for him, take him out on dates and make him feel the most cherished.

Ten wanted to be the one to pamper Taeyong for once.

He was going to cook dinner for him; he’d been practicing, in secret. Chicken parmesan with sautéed greens, it was a simple enough recipe that Ten knew he couldn’t fuck it up. After dinner, they would go out to Ten’s backyard, where he’d give Taeyong flowers and his gifts before they’d move to having a drink and eating the cake. Ten knew how much Taeyong liked his peace and quiet, how he appreciated staying in with good company a lot more than he did extravagant nights out.

The bell rang while Ten was on the phone with Johnny; he was telling Ten about some play, an original script of some fresh faced director whom everyone had their eyes on.

“Happy birthday!” Ten stage whispered once he opened the door.

“Thanks.” Taeyong replied, pulling Ten into a deep kiss that left him weak in the knees.

“Ten, did you even hear me?” Johnny called from the other line. Ten hadn’t exactly told Johnny about his new relationship status, but it wasn’t like he was trying to hide it either. If Johnny had heard the kissing noises, he chose not to comment.

“Yes! Actually no.” Ten mumbled with a giggle, pecking Taeyong on the lips once more time before pulling away to actually pay attention to Johnny.

It was an important conversation, Johnny had been doing his best to find Ten work for late August and he finally had. Just few weeks ago, the prospect of leaving had seemed heavenly, now every time Johnny discussed his upcoming return, Ten felt his stomach drop.

“The production starts soon though, they said you have be here by the eleventh”

Ten’s face fell. His heart started thudding wildly in his chest. He needed to breathe.

“That’s in ten days, John.” He sent a quick glance in Taeyong’s way where he had taken a seat on the couch, before going outside to finish the conversation.

“I’m aware.”

“What about the restraining order?” It was the entire reason why he’d been sent away to begin with.

“You’re gonna be working in a completely different circle this time, Ten. And I plan to keep a close watch on you, it’s gonna be straight from practice to home till the air is cleared.”

Ten swallowed, wiping his brow with the back of his hand. He knew his leave was inevitable, but he’d counted on having more time.

“I’ll get back to you later.” He told Johnny before hanging up.

He stood there, in his backyard, shrouded in darkness and surrounded by stillness as he took few deep breaths before heading back inside.

“What’s in ten days?” Was the first thing to come out of Taeyong’s mouth once he saw Ten.

“My expected return.” Ten mumbled, forcing a smile, which made Taeyong frown as he stood up to approach Ten.

“I thought that was a month away.”

“Johnny found me something, they start production soon.”

“Oh.” Taeyong’s voice sounded so small, “congratulations.” He added as an afterthought.

“I haven’t said yes yet.”

“But you’re going to.”

“What do you think?” Ten asked, full of hope, Taeyong had always been the more mature one of the two of them, he always knew what to say, knew how to fix things.

“I think that whether it’s in ten days or thirty, you’ll have to leave, Ten, and it’s gonna hurt either way.”

Ten felt the tears well up in his eyes.

“Hey,” Taeyong whispered as he moved closer, bringing his hands to Ten’s face, thumbing at his cheeks, wiping the tears away.

Ten covered the hands on his face with his and squeezed his eyes shut before gazing into Taeyong’s eyes. “Come with me.” He whispered.

“Ten, please.” Ten felt his heart drop when Taeyong pulled his hands away, turning his back to him.

“You have nothing to keep you here, Taeyong, please, if it’s just hiding, you can hide anywhere!”

“I’m not hiding!” Ten froze for a moment. That was the first time he ever witnessed Taeyong raise his voice at anyone.

Ten could raise his voice too; he wasn’t a stranger to loud arguments.

“Fine, _healing_ , whatever the fuck you call it! Whatever it is, you can do it anywhere!” He shouted, moving closer to stand in front of Taeyong, “why here? Why does it have to be far from where I will be?” He added a little more dejectedly, the fight already leaving him drained. This was not how he wanted this discussion to happen.  

“This is not about _you_ , Ten.” Ten recoiled as if he were punched in the face; it was the first time he heard Taeyong speak with such venom in his voice. It was a night of firsts, in all the ugly ways. “It never was.” Taeyong added for emphasis, his usually kind eyes regarding Ten with an intense glare that made him want to cry.

“So I’m that insignificant to you?” He asked, voice shaking.

“I didn’t say that.” Taeyong said, eyes clearing, finally looking a little like himself again.

Ten from three months ago would have yelled some more and made sure to deliver some very hurtful words, if only to focus all his power on being angry and spare himself the ache of being hurt. But he couldn’t do that, not to Taeyong of all people.

Instead, he stormed out of the house –his own house, because he couldn’t bear the thought of having to kick Taeyong out, and the thought of being around him at that moment was just as distressing. He needed to clear his head, so he headed to town. It was either going to be the gym or the bar, he didn’t make up his mind yet.

Taeyong did not follow.

Ten knew he was being irrational. Of course it wasn’t about him, it wasn’t even about Taeyong. It was about Taeyong’s sister and his overwhelming guilt about her death.

They had been curled up in bed just couple of nights ago when Ten had asked if Taeyong was still in contact with his parents.

Taeyong had told him about how he’d had everything growing up, how his parents had never left him needing anything. He’d had the best elder sister anyone could ever ask for, he’d had love, care and support from people around him, but he’d still found a way to disappoint them all. He had told Ten that he couldn’t possibly look his parents in the eyes after being the one responsible for killing their daughter.

Ten knew that that was not the kind of emotional scarring anyone could just get over, it ran too deep. He had hoped, naively so, that he meant _something_ for Taeyong, that he meant _enough_ for Taeyong to at least try.

Turned out he was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so  
> Im not that happy with this chapter cz i usually go over every chapter few days before and work out the kinks and add stuff to it before posting it, but I've been too busy this week I'm glad I even found the time to post this.  
> thank you for the kudos and comments, theyre the juice that keeps me going  
> next update is on tuesday


	7. Chapter 7

 

The quietness felt stifling. Ten’s house felt different, silent, empty. Well, it wasn’t going to be his house for much longer anyway.

A week had passed since Taeyong’s birthday and Ten had yet to hear from him. The whole fight had left him feeling destabilized, as if his world had been shook off its axis, not enough to send it toppling over, but enough that it was on the edge of falling.

In such a short period of time, Taeyong had managed to engrave himself so deeply in Ten’s life; his absence was too palpable to ignore. Ten had thought about seeking him out to talk, to try and fix things, but Taeyong needed the space, to sort out what he wanted with Ten himself.

Plus Ten had always been too proud. He’d rather die than bow his head down to anyone, even if it meant he’d have to suffer in silence.

Saving their relationship or letting it go was a decision left in Taeyong’s hands. Ten was ready for both outcomes, inclining towards the worst one with every passing day. 

 _Distance would help_ , he kept reminding himself. He would be leaving soon. He’d get busy, distract himself until he forgot his heartache, eventually. Broken hearts could always be mended.

Broken hearts also made the greatest artists. Ten was lucky he was in the right business, he supposed.

If only he could find a way to dance again without his eyes stinging with tears and his throat itching, if only he could dance again without constantly fighting the need to cry. Taeyong’s absence was like a gaping hole in Ten’s chest every time he danced. Every aspect of Ten’s practice sessions had been touched by Taeyong that even stretching left Ten emotionally drained.

He was going through an old routine of his –because he couldn’t bear dancing to the ones he and Taeyong had made, not just yet- when he caught movement on his far left.

The door opened and closed quietly as Taeyong let himself in.

Ten stopped to stare at him, heart hammering too loudly it drowned out the thoughts running through his mind. Taeyong looked different; he had shaved his face clean. He looked younger, softer. He gave Ten a little wave, as skittish as he’d been that first time he’d stepped foot into the gym, and Ten couldn’t help but send a small smile in his direction.

Ten fought the urge to run to him and pull him into his arms and instead went to restart the music, so that he could go over the routine from the top. 

He wasn’t ready to talk just yet, so he thought he might as well use practice to buy them both some time, to give himself and Taeyong the chance to think about what they were going to say to each other.

And so he danced.

Having Taeyong watch him pushed to dance harder than he had done all week, veins pulsing with rejuvenation. The tears, surprisingly, didn’t threaten to make an appearance as he danced, moving across the room with energy he didn’t know he even possessed. Taeyong always had that effect on him. Ten just never realized how dangerously strong that effect was. 

Ten finished his routine and stood to face Taeyong, panting as their gazes met, eyes imploring as they familiarized themselves with one another again. He was seated on the floor, back to the mirrored wall, where he usually sat every time he’d monitored Ten. 

A soft spoken ‘Perfect’ was the first thing he heard come out of Taeyong’s mouth that night, first thing he had heard from him in a week.

Ten turned off the music before going to sit next to him, leaning his head back against the cool mirror. The proximity sent his heart into another bout of thudding that had nothing to do with all the physical effort he’d just put.

A week had felt like an eternity without Taeyong, it had drained him, set an ache in his bones so deep it left him incapacitated.  

They sat there in silence as they stared ahead, looking at each other’s reflections in the mirrored wall opposite them.

“Ten, I’m sorry I was harsh on you.” Taeyong said first; always straight to the point.

“You weren’t.” Taeyong was a lot harsher on himself than he’d been Ten or on anyone else. Ten had thought a lot about what he’d say to Taeyong. His first version of the conversation had included a lot of insults, packed a lot of anger, but as the week passed, he’d started feeling sadder for Taeyong than angry at him. “You’re- Taeyong, it sucks, it fucking sucks that you lost your sister and I’m so sorry for that. But-” he stopped and turned to face him, “you’re _alive_ and you can’t just burry yourself in this town, being a handyman or whatever, wasting away.”

The look Taeyong had on his face was unreadable. Ten hoped he hadn’t crossed a line. 

“I’m scared, Ten.” Taeyong said, voice low, ashamed as if he were at a confessional, admitting to a lifetime of sin. “And you were right, _I am_ hiding, and I’m…I’m not ready to go back into the world just yet.” He added, meeting Ten’s gaze, eyes pleading.

“I know, I just…I thought that what we now have would change your mind.” God, he felt so stupid. He knew he sounded like a self-centered brat, but he wanted to be honest with Taeyong about how he truly felt.

“It did. It did, I promise. You made me feel again, made dancing _fun_ again, made me want to share what I have again, but only with _you_ , not with the world, not yet.” A flush made its way to Ten’s face at those words. That was the first time Taeyong admitted his feelings to Ten so openly, without prompt. “So all I’m asking you is to give me more time. Please.”

“Okay.” Ten whispered in reply. He’d give Taeyong all the time in the world, if it meant he got to keep him.

“Okay?” Taeyong asked, eyes shining with unshed tears, but lips stretched in a wide smile.

Ten nodded, bottom lip caught between his teeth as he smiled before pulling Taeyong into a hug, wrapping both arms around his neck and legs around his torso.

Everything was right with the world again.

“You kinda stink.” Taeyong mumbled against Ten’s neck after a little while, sending Ten into a fit of laughter.

“Asshole.” He said as he detached himself from Taeyong and got to his feet, laughter dying down to a light chuckle. The past week had been a hell of sadness, anticipation and stress, just thinking about it was enough to sober him up. 

“I gave my answer to Johnny,” he started, following Taeyong with his eyes as he got to his feet as well, “I took the offer.”

“Yeah, I figured. Heard from Sally that you were leaving. News travel fast around here.”

“Is that why you came here? To say goodbye?” Ten asked, failing at feigning a teasing tone; everything Taeyong had said suggested that he hadn’t in fact come to say goodbye, but Ten couldn’t help but feel a little bit insecure.

Taeyong shook his head lightly as he moved to stand closer to Ten, “you’re going to do amazing.” He whispered before planting a gentle kiss on Ten’s lips.

“Thank you.” He responded, recapturing Taeyong’s lips in another kiss, heart hammering in his chest, he’d missed this and he knew he was only going to miss it more once he’d leave. “Your beard is gone.” He mumbled when they parted, running the back of his hand over Taeyong’s jaw.

“How do I look?” It’d been a long time since he’d seen Taeyong act self conscious around him.

“It looks good.” Taeyong had a strikingly beautiful face and the beard had concealed most of it, which Ten knew had been the point.

“Come on, hit the shower!” Taeyong said, dramatically scrunching up his nose before pushing Ten in the direction of the door.

“Taeyong,” Ten called softly before walking into the showers, tone serious, inhaling deeply before continuing, “I want –we need to discuss this, _us_ , before I leave.”

“Yeah, okay.”

The wishful thinking and vague promises were what made them lose a week they could have spent together. Ten wanted them to be on the same page on where they’d want to take their relationship, _if_ they'd want to take it anywhere further at all. A conversation was long overdue.

***

Next morning found them in Ten’s kitchen, making breakfast. Well, Taeyong was making breakfast  while Ten was leaning on the counter watching him, drinking in every detail, filing it carefully in his memories because he knew it’d be a long time before he could see Taeyong again. He was barefoot, wearing only a t-shirt and a pair of boxers, legs bare to the warm summer air. Ten loved those legs, when they moved expertly as Taeyong danced, when they lay across Ten’s lap when they were sitting on the couch, when they were wrapped around Ten in bed.

“My eyes are up here.” Taeyong said when he turned and caught him staring.

Ten made his way over to him, chuckling. His arms found their way around Taeyong’s middle before he kissed him on the cheek and then on his neck, peppering soft kisses all the way to his shoulder. It felt so right, the way they fitted together so perfectly, as if they’d never stopped doing this, as if they’d been doing this for years.

They’d gotten back to Ten’s house last night, giggling and stumbling through the door because they couldn’t keep their hands away from each other enough to focus on other things like walking and making sure they don’t fall down the stairs. Ten had forgotten that the bedroom was a mess. Taeyong had taken one look at the clothes on the bed and the open suitcases strewn on the floor and in a bold move, which Ten could have never associated with his tidy nature, had shoved everything off the bed before shoving Ten himself onto it, silencing his complaints about his clothes with open mouthed kisses and a long night of passion.

Today they were planning on finishing packing and then head over to the bar for the get together Jose had planned in Ten’s honor, which Ten found unnecessary because he only knew five people in town other than Taeyong, but he guessed the townsfolk just needed an excuse for a party. He wouldn’t ruin it for them.

But first, he and Taeyong needed to talk.

“So…” Taeyong prompted as they went out to the backyard to have breakfast. He was never one to beat around the bush. Ten appreciated that about him; it made talking to him so easy.

“Taeyong, I like you, a lot, so much.” Ten said as a start, making Taeyong blush a soft pink. He looked beautiful.

“Me too.”

“I want to give this relationship a try. If you want that.”

“I do, I…it’s not easy for me to just-” Taeyong stopped, clenching his fists on top of the table, as if he were physically muscling through his words, “remember how I told you that I needed to heal here?” he asked, pointing at his chest, a close imitation of what he’d done the first time he’d told Ten about himself. And how could Ten forget the day Taeyong had laid his heart out open for him.

“I’m still trying and some days are better than others, especially the days I get to spend with you. You’ve been- I’m so glad I met you, Ten.” He paused again, reaching across the table to grab Ten’s hand. “But I still got issues to deal with and things to work on my own and I’m not ready to go back, not to doing ballet, and definitely not in New York of all places.” Ten nodded, squeezing Taeyong’s hand in a show of support. “And I hear long distance relationships do kinda work, sometimes.” He added, a little hopeful smile painting his face.

“Just like all types of relationships.” Ten responded, mirroring Taeyong’s smile. It would be _challenging,_ Ten had never tried being with someone who wasn’t within immediate reach, but he’d been living away from home since he was twelve, he’d gotten used to maintaining his family relationships from a distance, and although sometimes it sucked and got too lonely, it didn’t change the way he felt about his loved ones one bit.

“You need to get better at texting.” He said in a mock stern voice; Taeyong was an awful texter, he’d see a message and forget to reply because he’d be too busy doing something with his hands.  

“For you, I will, I promise.” Taeyong assured with a smile that Ten couldn’t help but return.

They could make this work.  

***

They spent the whole day holed up in Ten’s room, alternating between packing and talking and just being around each other. Ten couldn’t help but reach out for a kiss or a hug or simply just a brush against Taeyong’s face or hand every few minutes because he’d be hit with the overwhelming urge to get as much of Taeyong’s touch as he could before leaving. The thought that this was their last day together for who knew how long was a big shadow looming behind him.

So Ten made sure that they made the most out of it.

He finally had the chance to give Taeyong his birthday gifts –Taeyong almost cried while he inspected the figurines, the nerd. Ten also took the extra step and sang Taeyong happy birthday just to see him clutch his stomach as he laughed while the candle that stood lopsided in the middle of the store bought brownie casted a tiny beam of light on his face. 

Time passed suspiciously quickly that when they had to get ready to go to the bar for the farewell party, Ten was debating not going at all, but that would be considered rude, according to Taeyong.

So they ended up at the bar, surrounded by a bunch of faces Ten hardly recognized, except for about five people; Jose, Taeyong’s boss Sally and her wife Alex, Julie, and Sam the delivery guy from Jackie’s meat grill. But there were a lot more people milling around, probably every adult in town Ten had ever came into contact with and they were all so friendly, patting Ten on the back, asking if he’d enjoyed his time in town, offering him drinks (which Ten declined because he was adamant about staying sober on his last night with Taeyong), telling him to come visit again. It would’ve been a tad bit overwhelming if Ten didn’t have Taeyong close, arm wrapped around his waist, anchoring him.

“Don’t let some fancy city boy steal you from our TY, here.” Alex told Ten, giving Taeyong a playful punch on the shoulder that, if the face Taeyong made was any indication, was definitely going to bruise.

“And where can I find anyone like him in the city?” He responded with an exaggerated huff, humoring Alex before turning to lock eyes with Taeyong and lean in for a soft kiss. It all felt so fucking domestic, Ten could not stop smiling or staring at Taeyong the whole night.  

He looked so beautiful, even under the shitty lights of the bar. Taeyong was wearing one of Ten’s t-shirts, hair tied in a high ponytail, smile broad on his beautiful gorgeous face. He had come a long way from the shy reserved man who had hid behind his hair when Ten had first met him. Ten had just been too wrapped up in his own selfishness to notice before.

“Should I be worried?” Taeyong asked later, while they swayed, cheek to cheek, to the gentle tune of a slow song.

“About?” Ten frowned in confusion as he pulled away a little to look at Taeyong.

“You finding some fancy city boy who’d steal you from me.” Ten snorted, Taeyong liked to think he was funny and Ten liked to humor him.  

“I’ll let you know, mister, I’m my own person and no one can _steal_ me.” He replied, stroking Taeyong’s neck before moving his hands to play at fixing his collar.

“A strong independent man who needs no one.”

“That’s right!” Ten said with a dramatic nod before breaking into giggles and planting a kiss on Taeyong’s lips. “I do need you though.” He bit his lip, _I love you_ , he wanted to say. He couldn’t though; it wasn’t fair to either of them, especially now. “Who’s gonna drive me around, make sure I’m sleeping on my side when I’m drunk, check the basement doesn’t have killer clowns for me?”

“You really are helpless without me.” Taeyong said with a faux gasp, then playfully pulled Ten closer by the hips. They were both still chuckling when Taeyong captured Ten’s lips in a kiss that started out chaste and ended up verging on too passionate for public.

They stayed pressed together when they pulled apart, forehead to forehead, chest to chest, arms wrapped around each other. Ten racked his eyes over Taeyong’s face, committing everything to memory, his doe eyes, the slope of his nose, his lips, even the scars on the side of his face. It was all Taeyong and Ten loved every single part of him.

“I’ll miss you.” was whispered against Ten’s lips, gentle but clear over the music and packing so much emotion that Ten had to close his eyes and focus on willing his heartbeat to slow down. He feared that in that moment, if Taeyong asked him to stay, he would.

“Let’s go home.” Taeyong said instead, pulling away and holding Ten’s hand in his. They shared a look then, suspended in time, overflowing with feelings that would unfortunately remain unspoken for the time being.

Ten pressed a kiss against Taeyong’s lips to break the spell and then pulled Taeyong behind him so that they could start making their final rounds, saying goodbye to everyone before heading to Ten’s house for one last night together.

***

Goodbyes had never been too hard on Ten; he’d said goodbye to his mother and sister countless times, he’d said goodbye to his teachers in Korea, to his instructors and friends in England. Ten was used to moving from place to place, to travel and to separation, so the notion of goodbye had never really had a lasting effect on him. It’d always stung, but it’d never hurt, until he had to say goodbye to Taeyong.

They had spent the night in each other’s arms, resisting sleep, refusing to waste a single minute they still got in each other’s company. Ten had fought tears and dragged his feet the entire time while Taeyong loaded the suitcases in the trunk of his car. He’d even offered to drive Ten all the way to the airport, but that was too far and it would just mean Taeyong would get to see Ten cry for two more hours.

It was enough that he’d got to see him cry during the ride from Ten’s house to the bus station and then also while they waited for the bus.

“Come on, Ten, stop crying. You’re embarrassing me in front of the only other person in the station.” Taeyong stage whispered as he hugged Ten, patting him on the back while Ten buried his face in Taeyong’s chest and sobbed.

“Fuck off, I hate you.” Ten knew Taeyong was trying to make the situation lighter, lift the mood, distract Ten, so that he himself wouldn’t cry, but Ten still noticed the light tremor in his hands as he stroked Ten’s head, the shakiness in his voice as he comforted him. 

“No you don’t.”

No, Ten didn’t hate him. He _loved_ him. His heart was too full of love towards him he feared it might burst.

He wished he had the courage to tell him, “I’m gonna miss you so much.” He said instead, locking their lips in a kiss that he hoped could convey the intensity of his feelings.

“I’m afraid I’m gonna miss you a lot more. Don’t forget about me.” Taeyong mumbled, forehead pressed against Ten’s. It was always so startling to hear Taeyong sound that small and vulnerable. It broke Ten’s heart, but filled him with an immense sense pride too because it was proof of Taeyong’s full trust in him.  

“I would never.” He assured him, trying to get bearings of his limbs so he could step away from Taeyong because fuck, the bus was coming. “We’re gonna make this work.” He added, sealing his promise with a final kiss.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's technically tuesday so update!!  
> so ten and taeyong communicate like the adults they are and make things work uwu  
> two more chapters to go :')  
> thank you for the comments and kudos they sustaaain me!!  
> next update is on saturday  
> 


	8. Chapter 8

 

Being back in New York felt like breathing air again, grimy polluted air, but nonetheless. He was finally back _home_ , to the fast pace of life, to busy streets, constant traffic and people being absolute assholes. He loved it. It was loud, crowded and dirty, but Ten loved it to the core. He loved the hustle and bustle of big cities, loved the diversity and the amalgamation of cultures and languages and people.

Warrenville had been too quiet, its people too nice. It was lovely in its own way and it would always hold a special place in Ten’s heart, but it just wasn’t home for Ten.

Ten enjoyed being busy and having a full schedule, he had a kick out of short lunch breaks and quick coffee runs during practice.

An advantage of doing what you love for living is that you love your work, no matter how exhausting it got.

And loving his work he did.

It was a different circle from what Ten was used to, a smaller theatre, less dancers. His co-stars were a lot nicer than he was used to, or maybe it was because Ten himself had become more considerate towards people. He was getting better at making friends; he just had no time to hang out with them outside of work, yet. The play was a lot more experimental than what Ten usually did, but it was good, overly ambitious and so overwhelmingly physically and emotionally demanding. It had Ten lying in his bathtub, groaning as he soaked his aching limbs in cold water every night. It was perfect.

Johnny had taken keeping an eye on Ten very seriously. He’d got one of his new interns to stick to Ten like glue, while he practiced, while he went for wardrobe rehearsals, while he did couple of photoshoots, on his lunch breaks. She’d only leave him alone when he’d go to the bathroom. It was suffocating but Ten had no right to complain, Johnny was only looking out for him.

It wasn’t like Ten was going to run off to go party or do some stupid shit, although admittedly, he had given Johnny enough reason to believe he would. He barely had time to scratch his fucking head. Johnny had packed his schedule full. When he’d said Ten would barely have time to do anything other than work and sleep, he hadn’t been exaggerating.

By the time Ten got home every night, all he’d want was a cold bath, a warm food delivery for dinner and a phone call with Taeyong before bed.

The long distance relationship thing wasn’t so bad. It sucked, but it was still as fulfilling, emotionally at least.

It wasn’t hard as much as it was just simply not enough. He missed Taeyong’s touch, his warmth, his scent, sharing space with him and just being around him. But he’d promised to do whatever he could to make their relationship work, so they were trying and it was okay for the most part. Taeyong was putting effort into becoming better at texting, a bit too much effort because Taeyong’s idea of texting was sending weird dad jokes and memes he got from his nerdy gaming buddies. Ten found it endearing, the jokes made him smile every single time, but Taeyong didn’t need to know that.

“It sucks, I want to see him face to face, to kiss him and hug him and have s- you know.” Ten stopped himself when he remembered that there were three very impressionable and dangerously attentive children at the table with them, plus a very quiet baby who would probably soon be saying her first words. 

It was the night before the opening and he was at Johnny’s house for dinner, per Johnny’s insistent request because he apparently wanted to celebrate Ten’s not fucking up the job this time around and his overall uncharacteristic growth as a human being. Those had been his exact words as he’d let Ten in.

“It’s fine, you guys can do it, we make it work when Johnny is away for work.” Johnny’s husband, Kun was an angel. Ten had never met someone as sweet and incredibly kind as he was. Johnny was incredibly kind too, but he was also an asshole.

Ten had often declined Johnny’s invitations to spent time with him and his family. He’d visited their home a total of four times over the three years he’d had Johnny as his agent. He was always careful not to intrude, Kun and the kids deserved to get Johnny for few hours without Johnny bringing his work home.

“Please you’ve been together since forever, I’m sure you love to get a breather from John. But I’ve seen him when he’s away from you and he’s always in the shi- I mean worst mood ever.”

Ten had shared hotel rooms with Johnny before when they’d travel for work. Every time their trip would stretch for too long, Johnny would get really moody and agitated. The only times Ten would see him smile were when he’d get to call his family at the end of the day.

Ten had even witnessed Johnny crying because they were out of the country on Johnny and Kun’s anniversary one year. Johnny had always been too attached to his family. Ten, on the other hand, had always prided himself for not being too dependent on his; he loved them, he’d give the world to his mother and sister, but he didn’t _need_ them to survive. Unlike Johnny, who couldn’t go a month without seeing his parents, who beat himself up all the time for not spending enough time with his husband and kids; even though he had to take the extra work, so that he could afford providing for them.  

Ten had always marveled at Johnny’s family, at his relationship with Kun, at the immense amount of love they had for each other. It’d always seemed like such a foreign concept, to love someone like that, so much, for so long. However, Ten was starting to understand; his own relationship was still so new, nothing compared to the almost two decades Johnny and Kun had spent with each other, but he could see them getting there; sharing an apartment, getting married -not the kids though, maybe dogs. It was a terrifyingly exciting thought. Ten had never felt so strong about anyone to fantasize about a future with them before, but Taeyong had been at the center of so many first experiences and emotions for Ten, so it wasn’t that much of a surprise that he’d be at the center of Ten’s newly discovered domestic fantasies.

Being in love was really as cliché as everyone made it out to be, Ten thought as he unlocked his front door.

Dinner had been amazing and after Johnny had put the kids to sleep, he and Ten and Kun got to get some relaxing adult time with a bottle of rouge.

Ten couldn’t believe he had become the kind of person to get dinner at a friend’s house and then go to bed at 11 PM on a summer night. He wished he had the energy to hit a club and really get drunk, but he was being responsible, and his play was opening the next day. He’d go get smashed in celebration after that, responsibly of course, probably with Johnny’s intern on his tail.

Ten dialed Taeyong’s number once he took his clothes off and got into bed. August was always so fucking hot in New York, he fiddled with the AC remote control to turn the temperature down some more as he waited for Taeyong to pick up.

“Hey.” Ten greeted, settling into bed more comfortably.

“Hey baby.” The pet name was a new thing. Taeyong had started using it over text as a joke as an opening for his awful pick up lines and it just slowly became an actual thing. It made Ten’s heart skip a beat every time, he was still getting used to it. “How was dinner?”

“Noisy. God, Johnny has too many kids.” Ten feigned a sigh, he was only half joking. Johnny’s kids were really a handful, but they were adorable, Ten had so much fun spending time with them.

“You sure it was the kids and not you making all the noise?” Taeyong teased. Ten felt himself smiling, he knew exactly the kind of face Taeyong was making at that moment.

“Shut up, I’m not noisy.” He shot back, too tired to come up with anything witty. “What did you do today?”

“I convinced Sally to let us take this renovating job, so we went paint shopping today.”

“House renovation? When did you start doing that?”

“I lost a source of income when you left, good sir. And now I have a lot of free time, like _a lot_.”

Taeyong could always go back to being holed up in his house, playing video games and keeping social interactions to a minimum, but he’d been putting himself out there more, trying out new things. All small steps Ten had never taken the time to notice before. It filled him with a sense of pride that he’d had just as much of an impact on Taeyong as the latter had had on him.  

Ten was about to reply with a cheeky comment of his own when he heard Taeyong clear his throat.

“Also, I found a therapist –read some reviews on her online. She has a good reputation, I talked to her on the phone and I liked her.”

Taeyong had brought up going to therapy a week after Ten had left. Taeyong wanted to go back home, to be with Ten, to face his parents, one day. He had had therapy right after his accident, got cleared out as not having any lasting psychological damage. So he had thought that his issues weren’t so severe, that he could handle them on his own. He’d thought that awareness of his issues was enough to get him to heal, but it was just a first step and getting professional help seemed like a good next step.

“It’ll be worth it, Taeyong.”

“I hope so. ‘cause it’s gonna be a long drive every week to Houlton.”

“I’m gonna pretend I have geographical knowledge of Maine and actually know where that is, so just put on some music or an audio book to keep you entertained on the way there.” Ten reveled in the sound of Taeyong’s soft laughter from the other end of the line. He wished he were there with him to hear it directly.

“Are you nervous for tomorrow?” Taeyong asked after a while. He’d been very involved with Ten’s practice for the play, even from afar and Ten loved hearing his input about every little detail. Taeyong had amazing artistic vision and of how things should exactly be executed to achieve that vision.

“Not at all, I’m actually excited.”

“You’re going to do amazing.” Taeyong said, voice so steady and warm. That was all the assurance Ten had ever needed.  

“I know I will. I had a really good instructor few months back, he taught me a thing or two.”

“Oh I bet he’s real proud of you.”

“Well he used to tell me about how I was perfect.” Ten closed his eyes, turning to lie on his side. He was getting sleepy already, Taeyong’s voice a calming tune in his ear.

“You are perfect, Ten. The most perfect dancer I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Of course you’d say that, you’re my boyfriend.” He heard Taeyong hum in agreement. Ten’s referring to Taeyong as his boyfriend always weirdly shut Taeyong up for a minute, made him flustered for some reason. Ten found it adorable and of course used the information for his advantage every time the opportunity arose.

“You should go to sleep, big day tomorrow.” Taeyong instructed softly. Ten would have argued if he weren’t so tired already.

 _I wish you could be here_ , he wanted to say. At a surface level, it would be a completely appropriate statement to say to your boyfriend who was far away, but Ten knew better than that. The last thing he’d want to do was to guilt trip Taeyong for something that was out of his control.

So he bid him goodnight instead, while his _I love you_ remained unsaid.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is mostly a filler chapter , one more to go and we're dooone  
> idk why but i feel like the last chapter fell flat for you guys cz i barely got any feedback on it jsjssjsj idk if i ever mentioned this but this is a pretty laid back story, i was never planning for much tension or drama in it, it's a simple story, centered around Ten and his journey as a person and how he changes a little and finds love, that's all  
> Johnkun's kids are vivi, mark, lucas and olivia btw uwu  
> 


	9. Chapter 9

 

Applause. Roaring fucking applause.

Ten fought a smile as he gracefully lowered his head to hide his face in his hands, signaling the end of the scene and of the entire act. He broke out of the character of the sad  lover and grinned into his hands, out of sight of the audience, who were all on their feet, clapping for him.

He could barely catch his breath as he sat there, letting the familiar deep pleasure wash over him in waves. He could barely hear the sound of the applause over his own heart beat.

The performance had made him feel like he was soaring; every leap had got him closer to touching the sky.

Opening nights were special, incomparable. A delightful sense of freedom injected right into his veins. Pure fucking euphoria once he got to reveal his art to the world for the first time, once he got to expose himself to strangers, to watch him hungrily, consume him with their eyes, fucking worship him. It transcended him to a whole new plane of existence.

He skipped backstage as his costars rushed out to perform the closing act. He was done for the night.

A successful first show, one of so many.

He’d been on a roll since his comeback play in August, which had ended up being a major success. And everyone involved with it had been reaping the benefits of that success ever since. Ten had had offers thrown at him left and right, had got the chance to get back to performing on bigger stages, do bigger shows. He was back in his element; truly home in all senses of the word.

He’d never been this busy in his entire career, maybe because he was never this focused on his career before, never so goal oriented, the goal being getting better, pushing himself further.

Having that sabbatical in Warrenville had changed him from deep within. Having to stay put and away from being on stage had made him appreciate everything more once he’d got back. And of course having Taeyong had changed him too.

 _Taeyong_.

Taeyong who had set an example of the kind of dancer Ten thrived to be, the kind of performer he dreamt to be; Taeyong who was as his rock, his support. Ten had a great support system, he had his mom and sister, who although didn’t get what it was like to be a performer in an industry that wasn’t kind to anyone, sympathized and stood by him. He had Johnny, who definitely got it, but not in the way that Taeyong did.

Beautiful kind Taeyong who listened to all of Ten’s rambling. Taeyong who understood what it felt like to be on stage, what it felt like to put your body and soul in preparation for it.

Taeyong who’d call Ten perfect when he’d watch the videos he’d send him and Ten would know it was true because while Taeyong was kind with his words as he was with his actions, he still had an incredibly critical eye and he’d never cut Ten any slack.

Taeyong whom Ten loved more and more with each passing day. Taeyong whom Ten did not deserve at all.

They’d just had an argument, _again_ , on the phone earlier that day about Ten’s visiting.

Ten had had an incredibly packed schedule for the past four months, and every time he’d managed to squeeze in some time for a trip to Warrenville on his rare days off, Taeyong had shot him down.

First time had been back in September, he’d had everything ready, but a schedule change last minute for a music video shoot had messed things up. He’d even genuinely considered cancelling because he’d missed Taeyong and because he hated it when people in the business expected him to just show up anywhere they asked whenever they asked. Taeyong had convinced him to not cancel because it was a Florence Welch song, _you can’t just give up on that kind of exposure, Ten,_ he’d said.

Second time, in late November, had been because his break would only last three days and after a grueling succession of shows that had left him teetering on the edge of losing his mind, Taeyong had said it wouldn’t be worth the trouble to travel all the way to Warrenville for two days and that Ten should focus on resting instead, which Ten had reacted to badly. It had resulted in their worst and longest fight to date.

Now, Ten had a whole week off after the opening before they’d start their twice a week run. He’d called to get moral support from his boyfriend and then casually hinted at the idea of dropping by; it was barely an hour long flight and an admittedly longer than usual bus trip to Warrenville because of the snow, but still. Ten missed Taeyong.

But Taeyong had said no, again.

Ten was a little upset, but he didn’t want to fight with Taeyong. They were past that. Ten _tried_ to be past that at least. Communicating like adults worked better, supposedly.

He’d call Taeyong again, _communicate_ , try to convince him to say yes. Ten always prided himself for being persistent.

“Hey, Ten!” Johnny called as he navigated his way through the staff and equipment backstage; he had a big grin on his face, a good opening meant as much to him as it did to Ten. “You were amazing!” he exclaimed as he pulled Ten into a tight hug.

“Did you doubt me?”

“Of course not. Listen, when you go out for the curtain call, look to the far left of the third row, okay?”

“Oh my god, who is it this time?” Ten asked excitedly. It was ballet; there would often be celebrities in the audience. Sometimes there would boring people like some director or producer, sometimes some baseball player with his girlfriend and then sometimes really cool people like Janelle Monae and Tessa Thompson.

“You’ll see.” Oh, definitely Janelle and Tessa type of people then, “I gotta head home now. See you in few days!”

Ten couldn’t wait to head home too, he was exhausted. He hadn’t had a full free day in two months, he’d had to beg Johnny to completely clear out his schedule for the week just so that he could rest, and maybe pay Taeyong a visit. Snowy roads would not stop him.

Ten ran back to stage when his cue came, smiling and waving at the audience before going to the center to take a final bow with his costars. He peered at the audience, a bunch of tiny dots clapping and cheering for him. It wasn’t easy to make out anyone’s face with the stage lights pointed at him, but he knew if he moved a little to the side he’d be able to spot whoever Johnny wanted him to see.

Ten squinted as he took couple of steps to the left and then his heart almost leapt out of his throat.

Taeyong.

It was Taeyong, standing there with his gorgeous face, his hair loose and smile wide as he clapped with the rest of the attendees.

Taeyong. _His Taeyong._

Ten wanted to jump off the stage and directly into his arms, stage etiquette be fucking damned. But that would pull too much attention to Taeyong and Ten, even with his heart two seconds away from beating out of his chest from excitement, knew better than to force Taeyong into the spot light.

So he went back stage, breathing heavily. Taeyong was here. Taeyong was in New York.

Ten moved backstage in a trance; he couldn’t even remember how he took a shower or changed into his clothes. He kept glancing at his phone as he made his way through the corridors of the theatre, Taeyong’s text reading ‘ _im outside_ ’ on the screen.

It was fucking freezing. January in New York was unforgiving. Ten tucked his phone in his pocket and pulled his coat tighter around him as he scanned the street for Taeyong.

It was almost midnight on a winter night; the street wasn’t that busy or crowded, but there were still people milling around, cars speeding past. The late night hour or the cold were never enough to stop the people of the city from going about their lives.

Taeyong wasn’t that hard to spot. Ten grinned when he saw him few feet away, hair covered with a wool hat and body bundled up the jacket that Ten had got him for his birthday, hands in pockets, looking at the sky in such an obviously exaggerated manner, playing at being casual as if he hadn’t just given Ten the best surprise he could have ever asked for. He had never even allowed himself to entertain the thought of Taeyong coming to visit him; it was always him going to see Taeyong, but Taeyong was _here_ , in New York, for him.

“You’re here.” Ten breathed when he got close enough. He’d calmed down from the initial excitement and was left with an uncontainable feeling of giddiness.

It still didn’t feel real.

“I’m here.” Taeyong said, smile broad as he took the few steps still separating them.

Ten let out a shuddering breath as he got pulled into Taeyong’s arms. God, he’d missed him. 

Breathing in Taeyong’s scent felt like coming up for air after a long dive into water. “You’re here.” Ten heard himself repeat, stroking Taeyong’s back, his arms, then pulling back a little to touch his face, to make sure he really was there.

“Ouch! Your hands are freezing.” Taeyong complained as Ten kneaded his cheeks, they were red from the cold, Ten couldn’t help but lean up to place a soft kiss on each one of them before moving to place one on Taeyong’s lips.

“Shut up.” He whispered as he recaptured Taeyong’s lips in a deeper kiss, pouring months of longing into it. He talked to Taeyong almost every day, they texted and skyped and were involved in each others’ lives as much as a long distance relationship allowed. They made it work.

But he’d missed Taeyong’s touch. The physical contact and warmth of skin to skin was something Ten had been deprived of for months.

“When did you get here?” He asked when they pulled apart for air; Taeyong’s cheeks were even more flushed. Ten smiled as he gave them a little pinch.

“This afternoon.” Taeyong replied, moving closer to kiss Ten again, and again and again, an invisible pull bringing them together.

“Where are you staying?” Ten asked between kisses, voice shaky because the absolute weight of Taeyong being in New York was still baffling.

“At your place. Johnny already took my suitcase there.”

“Very presumptuous of you, thinking I’d let you stay with me.” Ten joked, pulling away from Taeyong’s lips to bump their noses together playfully.

“I’ll just go stay at my other boyfriend’s house then.”

“Hmm.” Ten giggled, fitting his cold fingers behind Taeyong’s ears as he kissed him again. He loved him so much; the emotion so intense he felt like clawing his skin open to let it out. “God, Taeyong, I…” He started, mumbling against Taeyong’s lips. He had been waiting months for the right time to say it. “I love you so fucking much.”

There.

No grand moment, no dramatic music; they were on the sidewalk, pools of melted snow surrounding them, cars speeding past them, loud and ugly, air biting cold. But it did not matter because Taeyong was giving him that fond look he reserved only for him.

“I love you, too, Ten, more than I ever thought I’d love anyone.”

If Ten weren’t a healthy man in his twenties who had a semi-strict diet and rigorous work out plan, he’d think he was having a heart attack.

“I love you, too…too.” Ten never claimed to be good with words. Taeyong was laughing though, so he counted it as a win.

“Yeah you kinda said it first.”

“Right.” Ten mumbled, biting his lip as he got on his tiptoes to bump his forehead against Taeyong in a show of affection. He was a little embarrassed; he’d never confessed his love to anyone before. “Let’s go home.”

***

Ten couldn’t stop touching him, fearing Taeyong would disappear if he did. He couldn’t believe that Taeyong was in New York, in his house, in his bed, naked and warm and wrapped in Ten’s arms.

“How does it feel, being back here?” He asked, brushing a soft kiss on top of Taeyong’s head as he pulled the comforter higher to cover them more securely. He loved it when Taeyong got soft and pliant like this.

“A bit weird, the parade I expected in my honor was not there.” Taeyong replied against Ten’s neck before pulling away to look at him when his cheekiness earned him a pinch on the side. “It’s fine, it brought back a lot of memories. I grew up here, spent almost my entire life here too, this city’s given me so much.” But it also took a lot from him. “It feels okay, a lot more okay than I thought it would, especially since I got to see you perform.” Taeyong continued, moving a little higher to plant a series of kisses on Ten’s jaw, “you were incredible, baby.”

Ten felt himself blush as he whispered a thank you against Taeyong’s forehead, running his fingers through soft black hair. It had got a little shorter since last time Ten had had it in his hands. Taeyong had been trimming it every few weeks, moving gradually towards getting back to his old hair style.

“Are you going to visit your parents?” He asked after a while; Taeyong’s parents used to be a sensitive subject that Ten wouldn’t dare to breach, but not anymore. He didn’t even feel Taeyong flinch at the mention of his parents.

“No, not this time. This trip is for you only.” Taeyong replied quietly, “next time I come,” he stopped to a take deep breath, fingers splayed over Ten’s chest, “it’ll be for apartment hunting, and then I’ll pay them a visit…maybe.”

They’d already discussed all of that. Taeyong had plans to sell the house and move back to New York, he had plans to contact his agent, figure out what he’d want to do career wise –During a phone call on a particular chilly autumn night, he had confessed that he still wanted to dance, still craved to perform on stage. And Ten hoped, he _prayed_ to get to see him on stage again, where he truly belonged.

But there was no set timeline for his plans, Taeyong wanted to do things at whichever pace he felt comfortable with.  

What was important was that Taeyong was _trying_. He’d moved from ‘I don't want to go back to New York’ to ‘I might one day go back’ to ‘I'm going to go back some day’ and although it had been a slow process, it still counted as progress.

“You can just move in with me.”

“I’ve seen the way you live, no thanks.”

“Hey!”

“I’m kidding, I –Therapist said it would be good if I get my own place, you know, not make this move about you.”

“I get it.” Taeyong wasn’t the only one who’d been working on himself; Ten had to come to terms with the fact that Taeyong’s healing process was first and foremost Taeyong’s, and that while Ten could be part of it and support Taeyong along the way, at the end of the day it wasn’t about him.

It was about Taeyong figuring his own shit out, and he was doing exactly that, starting with coming to New York, although just for a visit. It was a first step; the first of many.

“Have I told you how proud I am of you, for doing this?” Ten asked, trying to snuggle a bit closer to Taeyong, despite the fact they were already impossibly close.

“Every day.”

“Well I’ll just keep telling you ‘cause I am and will always be.” He was getting sleepy, but kept opening his eyes every time he felt himself surrendering to the temptation of slumber; the irrational fear that Taeyong would be gone by the time he’d wake up keeping him on the edge of consciousness.

“Thank you.” Gentle kisses were pressed against Ten’s collarbones before Taeyong leaned up to brush his hand against Ten’s cheek, bringing their faces close together. “Sleep. I’ll still be here in the morning.” He whispered softly against Ten’s lips and as if on cue, Ten’s eyes fell shut, and his breathing started to settle into a calm rhythm. A quiet ‘I love you.’ was murmured in his ear as Taeyong rearranged their limbs to a more comfortable position for them both.

“I love you too.” He managed to mumble before drifting off.

 

Fin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we’re done, thank you for sticking with me all this time. Your comments for the last update were so nice they touched me, im touched :”)  
> This story had been so special to me cz it’s the first story ive written with a full plot in years.  
> Thank you for the kudos and for the comments those were the juice that kept me going  
> 


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